Baby Be Mine

freak.’
    ‘That’s me,’ I say brightly, flashing him a grin and walking out of the studio.
    I heave the first suitcase onto the bed and unzip it. I take out my cosmetics bag and go straight to my beloved bathroom with the intention of unpacking it, but when I’m greeted with the sight of the beautiful big spa tub, the urge to relax in it overcomes me. I decide to unpack later. I put in the plug and turn on the taps, then open the cupboards under the sink so I can start to put away my things. I gasp with amazement as tiny light bulbs inside the cupboard reveal the most divine selection of beauty goodies I think I’ve ever seen. Glass bottles of expensive bubble bath in an array of colours sparkle at me like glittering jewels, and top-name brands of moisturisers, facial scrubs, eye creams – you name it – are lined up in neat little rows. Lena, Lena, you have truly outdone yourself. First things first, I reach for a bottle of ruby-red bubble bath and pour some under the tap.
    This is bliss, I think to myself a little while later, immersed up to my neck in warm water peaked with fluffy white bubbles. I could get used to this.
    Christian . . .
    My mood instantly turns sombre. What would he say if he could see me now? Nothing. I think he’d say nothing. He’d regard me with disgust and walk away. I get out of the bath soon after that.

 
  Chapter 29  
    I poke my head out of the bedroom door and can still hear music coming from the studio. I haven’t been in the bath for long, so I’ve probably still got a little time to unpack. I open the wardrobes and find that I’m face to face with an old friend of mine.
    A sheepskin sheep stares out at me from one of the shelves in the wardrobe. This was my Christmas present from Johnny when we went to the Dales the first time. I still remember laughing about it, because that Christmas other personal assistants were being given cars by their celebrity bosses. But this bloody sheep meant more to me than any car ever could. I left it here when I quit. I hoped Johnny would see it, but assumed Sandy would throw it out. It’s strange finding it here again. It looks the same, it’s in the same place, but everything around it has changed and moved on. Especially me. It’s a weird feeling.
    I pick it up and almost expect it to baa at me. On an impulse I leave the packing unfinished and walk back down the landing to the studio. Movement at the corner of my eye as I pass Barney’s bedroom brings me to a standstill. I peek inside and see Johnny cradling Barney in his arms, singing softly. He has his back to me. Barney would be tired. He’s obviously trying to get him to sleep – something I rarely manage during the daytime without four wheels and motion.
    The front-door buzzer sounds loudly and Barney jolts in Johnny’s arms. He lifts his sleepy head and sees me, and then all of Johnny’s hard work is undone. Barney starts to rub his eyes and cry, and Johnny smiles wryly and goes to relocate him to my arms. I hold up the sheep.
    ‘I cannot believe you still have this.’ I put it down on a table and take Barney.
    ‘I can’t believe it either.’ He picks it up and turns it over. ‘Where was it?’
    ‘In my wardrobe. I thought Sandy would throw it out.’
    ‘Mmm.’ We meet each other’s eyes.
    ‘Well, ain’t this a happy little family!’
    Startled, I spin around to see Dana standing in the doorway. She’s tiny, shorter than me by a couple of inches, and skinnier. She’s dressed all in black – black rock-chick T-shirt and black leggings with black peep-toe wedge heels. Her long, dark hair is tied up into a high, backcombed ponytail and she’s wearing a lot of make-up, even in the daytime.
    ‘Hey, little dude!’ She makes a beeline for Barney. ‘What’s with the tears?’
    ‘He’s tired,’ I reply on his behalf. Unpleasant goose pimples have formed all over my body. Her perfume is overpowering.
    Barney stops crying for a moment to look at this strange, over-the-top American woman. Dana peers closely at his face. ‘Jesus, you do look like your daddy.’ She turns to Johnny. ‘Hey, baby,’ she says warmly, giving him a kiss, followed immediately by a longer one, straight on his lips. Then she faces me.
    ‘Dana, this is Meg,’ Johnny says.
    We exchange hellos and she extends her hand so I give it a perfunctory shake. I notice her nails are short, and her blood-red nail polish is chipped. I wonder if she bites them.
    ‘What’s with the