Baby Be Mine

sheep?’ she says to Johnny. ‘That is one fucking ugly toy.’
    I flinch at her language, but don’t say anything.
    Johnny chuckles. ‘I bought it for Meg as a Christmas present when she worked for me.’
    ‘Fucking cheapskate.’ She laughs and I glance irritably at Johnny. Is he going to tell her off? Nope.
    She reaches down and ruffles Barney’s hair. ‘So you’re the little dude that’s been keeping my man away.’
    Barney starts to whinge.
    ‘I should get him to sleep,’ I say abruptly to Johnny. ‘I usually use the buggy.’
    ‘Throw him in his bed and be done with it,’ Dana says.
    I can’t keep the annoyance from my face.
    ‘I’m joking!’ she cries with amusement. ‘I thought you British were supposed to have a sense of humour.’
    I force a laugh.
    ‘Come on, Johnny, I’m starving. Are we going out to eat or what?’
    Johnny glances at me, then back at her. ‘Let’s see what’s in the kitchen.’
    ‘Have you got a new cook?’
    ‘No, not yet.’ He leads her to the door.
    ‘Bum. I could really do with a fucking Rosa quesadilla special right now. Fucking bitch.’
    I reel backwards in horror.
    ‘Joke, chick!’ Dana calls back at me, before cracking up laughing.
    As soon as they’ve gone, I let out a long breath and realise I’ve been holding it. The smell of Dana’s perfume is lingering. I lean down and sniff Barney’s hair – he smells of her, and I bloody hate it.
    I don’t want to go back downstairs to find Barney’s buggy so I persevere and manage to get him to sleep in my arms. He’s exhausted after our inter-continental flight, so it’s not hard. I lay him in his cot and pull the covers over him, then stroke his hair back away from his face and stare down at him for a while. I turn and see the sheep on the table. I pick it up and scrutinise it. What is she talking about, saying it’s ugly? No, it’s not. As sheep go, it’s not bad. In fact, it’s pretty damn attractive. Dana’s clearly deluded.
    Lovely Lena has already installed a baby monitor so I don’t need to go and dig one out from my suitcase. I take the parent handset and wait until I’m outside the room before switching it on. I don’t want the interference to make a loud screeching noise and wake Barney up.
    I’d much rather hide out in my bedroom and continue with my unpacking, but it feels rude not to go and chat to Dana. Mind you, she was planning on going out, so she’s obviously not bothered about conversing with me. I hesitate. No. I should make an effort to get to know her, even if she would prefer me to steer clear.
    I find them outside on a couple of sunloungers. They’re both smoking and Dana has her hand in a bowl of peanuts. Couldn’t be bothered to cook, I’m guessing.
    ‘Hi,’ I say, sliding the glass door shut behind me.
    ‘Alright?’ Johnny replies. Dana lifts her cigarette in a half wave and chucks some peanuts in her mouth.
    ‘He’s asleep,’ I tell them.
    Johnny nods. Dana tilts her face up towards the sky. I stand there feeling awkward and then make myself go and sit on a sunlounger nearby.
    ‘So, Dukey’s hangin’ out at Marmont tonight,’ Dana says casually. ‘We should go.’ I assume she’s talking about Chateau Marmont: celeb heaven.
    Johnny glances at me before looking away again and taking a long drag on his cigarette. ‘I don’t know,’ he replies before exhaling.
    Dana sits up and glares at him. ‘What? Why not? He’ll be pissed at you if you don’t show.’
    ‘Why should he care if I go or not?’
    ‘You know what he’s like. He’ll be bustin’ his ass to make sure the PR machine’s running like a dream. You’re his money shot.’
    ‘And you think that makes me want to go?’
    ‘Come on, Johnny, they need the publicity. Do it for me.’
    ‘Who’s Dukey?’ I interrupt.
    Dana huffs and lies back down again. Johnny turns his head towards me.
    ‘Dana’s manager.’
    ‘Oh, right. What’s he publicising?’
    ‘A new band he’s signed.’
    I remember the last time a girlfriend’s manager tried to swing on the coat-tails of Johnny’s success. It didn’t end well. Johnny doesn’t like being manipulated. I’m surprised Dana’s manager doesn’t know this already. Is it wrong to feel smug?
    Johnny is still looking at me, but I can’t see his eyes behind his dark shades. It’s disconcerting. He looks away.
    ‘Alright,’ he says in Dana’s direction.
    Hey?
    ‘I’ll go.’
    ‘Cool,’ Dana replies indifferently, throwing