Baltimore 03 - Did You Miss Me?

women crazy,’ Daphne said quietly.
    He looked at her then. She sat with one knee drawn to her chest, resting her chin atop it. Once again he was struck by how very young she looked.
    ‘Maybe it did. But I never cared. Not until I met you.’ A shadow of doubt passed through her eyes that irritated him. ‘You want to know what drove the women crazy?’ he asked with an edge that he couldn’t contain, yet knew she didn’t deserve. ‘It wasn’t me. Most of the time it was money. My father’s money. And for the few that were attracted to the badge, it was the perception of danger that wasn’t really danger at all.’
    Her gaze met his head on, unwavering. ‘Then what was it?’
    ‘Just the stink of the animals I deal with every day. It rubs off on you, a . . .’
    ‘Malevolence,’ she supplied, understanding.
    ‘Yes. Perfect word. If any of those women had to face real danger, they would have turned tail and run like scared rabbits. If they’d had to face one percent of what you see on a daily basis as a prosecutor, they’d dissolve. If, as adults, they’d had to face a millionth of what you dealt with as a defenseless child they would never have survived.’ He blew out a breath, listening to himself. He sounded bitter and he didn’t mean to. ‘Some of them were very nice women. Others were gold-diggers that didn’t get a second date. But none of them . . . mattered. They fed a basic hunger.’
    Her eyes skittered to the pillows they’d left jumbled before Novak had called them back to the hospital. ‘Sex,’ she said, her voice going husky, her cheeks going pink.
    The erection that had been uncomfortable became painful. ‘Yes. I won’t deny it. I haven’t been celibate, but I’ve never been indiscriminate. And I’ve always been safe.’
    ‘Good to know,’ she murmured.
    ‘But it was more than sex, Daphne. It was . . .’ He hated admitting it, but her opinion of him was too important to let it go unspoken. ‘After Jo, I was dead inside for a long time. As time passed, I healed but I was so incredibly alone. The women I’ve known kept the loneliness at bay. For a little while.’
    Her eyes flew back to his, darkly turbulent. ‘I find myself terribly conflicted,’ she said. ‘I know lonely, and I never would’ve wanted that for you. But I’m still wishing every woman who’s ever had you to a fiery perdition. And I have no right.’
    He might have smiled at her phrasing, but she was dead serious and so was he.
    ‘I think you believe there are more to wish to perdition than really existed. There haven’t been that many. And none since the day I met you.’
    She swallowed hard. ‘What about the bank executive, the flight attendant, the surgeon, the actress?’
    All of the women he’d brought as dates to her fundraisers. ‘Nice women, all of them. None of them looking for a relationship any more than I was. They wanted a night out, where they could wear their bling. Not even one nightcap in the bunch.’ He shook his head with a small smile, remembering. ‘They’re all old friends. A few of them actually wished you to a fiery perdition.’
    Her brows shot up. ‘Me? Why?’
    He lifted a shoulder awkwardly. ‘You were breaking my heart.’
    Her lips parted in surprise. ‘Because of Clay?’
    ‘Yep.’ He trailed a fingertip across her smooth, rosy cheek. ‘You say you don’t have a right to resent anyone who came before. You have every right, just no need. They didn’t matter to me. All of them were a pale imitation of what I’d lost. Of what I want. Which is what I see right now.’ She went statue still, not breathing even though her pulse fluttered wildly at the hollow of her throat. ‘I knew it the moment you walked through Grayson’s front door. You matter, Daphne. You matter to me.’
    Her eyes closed, new tears seeping from beneath her eyelids. ‘I’ve waited so long to hear somebody say that to me,’ she whispered, breaking his heart all over again.
    Joseph put his laptop on the floor, the search he’d been running forgotten. Threading his fingers through her hair, he pressed his lips to her forehead, her wet cheeks, the corner of her trembling mouth. ‘You matter to me,’ he repeated hoarsely.
    Then her hands were gripping the back of his neck and she was on her knees beside him, leaning over him, kissing him with a hunger that wiped every thought from his mind except getting inside her, as fast as possible. He palmed her butt and swung her over