Behind the Albergue Door: Inspiration Agony Adventure on the Camino de Santiago

we saw enough examples to believe there was at least some truth to that. Or that when people need things they go find them, and pay for them with a universally accepted form of currency, often at borderline extortionate rates.
    Anyway, back to our big entrance. We arrived at the Cathedral, took a bunch of weird photos, laughed gaily, hugged each other a lot for no discernible reason, went and got our compostelas at the Pilgrim Office, then attended Pilgrim’s Mass, an otherwise normal Catholic mass except that they announce the nationalities of arriving pilgrims and where they started, and the pews were randomly littered with filthy backpacks and the musty odour of damp merino wool. There we revelled in our accomplishment for about five minutes and struggled to keep our eyes open for the next forty. After that it was a night of debauchery, pasta and draft beer, a foggy and confusing route home through the maze-like streets of the old town, a wonderful chance to sleep in past 8 am, then emerging into the world groggy and disconcerted by our sudden lack of purpose, and the fact I finally had more than two pair of underwear to choose from. Periodic bouts of moaning, some errands, a bit more moaning, some Ibuprofen, a long string of sad goodbyes, one last moan, some hair of the dog, escalating spirits, another great sleep in a real hotel and voila, there we found ourselves in Porto, Portugal, afraid to leave the room and feeling really weird about ignoring my hiking shoes all day.
    So there you have it. El Camino de Santiago – in the books! I think the hardest part has been walking away from all the great people we met, hiked with, drank with, slept with (well, near), celebrated with and commiserated with for a month plus. Gonna miss them all, but we’re also looking forward to regaining a little mystery regarding things such as the condition of their feet, how they react to bug bites and the way their breathing sounds at night after a few too many… Buen Camino to all!



Camino Pickup Lines
    I know I have talked a lot about all the different hookups and prospective hookupping (I just made that word up – kind of like ‘hiccupping’, but more useful when trying to explain why you got home at 5 am missing your belt and one of your socks – ‘I had a long crazy night of hookupping’) but it is probably important that I clarify that a bit. The Camino was hardly a one night stand factory (that, of course, would be Taco Bell). Some of the reasons it wasn’t were pretty obvious – a constant lack of privacy, debilitating exhaustion, unpredictable digestive reactions to Spanish food. But also I think that most of the pilgrims who entangled romantically actually hadn’t arrived with any intention of going on the sexual prowl but were, in fact, just as surprised by it as the early morning cleaning lady was when she found them in her mop closet. Basically everyone we knew that got together along the Way at least planned to remain together after it was over, pending various logistical problems such as living in different countries, some even on different continents, and obvious concerns about whether the magnetic attraction would still be there once they had both washed away the intoxicating scents of fatigue and sour chorizo and replaced their standard hiking rags with normal, real world clothes (like mesh tank tops or sequined leggings).
    Nevertheless, in case one was so inclined, here is a handy list of opening lines you may want to use to get the ball rolling. Take care not to use too many of them on the same person or they may catch on to your amorous ways sooner than you were planning to break it to them (I usually prefer springing the news at the same time as the bra clasp, but go with your gut). Happy hookupping!
    “You haven’t lived until you’ve experienced one of my special blister lancings.”
    “I’m not going to eat my salami rind. You play your cards right, it could be yours.”
    “You know what they say about guys with big blisters, don’t you?”
    “Need someone to stand lookout while you pee?”
    “You look lonely under that umbrella all by yourself.”
    “From where I sit those blisters on the bottom of your feet look pretty raw. Raw enough to eat.”
    “I haven’t showered since Pamplona.”
    “How would you feel about pigging out on garlic and sleeping facing away from each other?”
    “Can you take a photo of my penis for me? For Facebook, I mean.”
    “You think my face is