Blood Red Road

on my shoulder.
    Of course, Mercy says, you never knew her. But Saba must remember.
    Not so much, I says. Not no more. It’s like … she’s faded.
    She laughed more’n anyone I ever met, says Mercy. There ain’t a lot to laugh about in this life, but Allis always found somethin. I think that’s why Willem, why your pa, loved her so.
    Lugh’s like that, I says. He takes after Ma. Pa never laughed after Ma died. Not that I can remember anyways.
    No, says Mercy. I don’t suppose he did.
    We’re quiet fer a bit. Then, It’s my fault she’s dead, says Emmi. She’s bin drawin in the dirt with a stick an now she pushes at it hard. It snaps in half.
    Mercy looks at me with her keen eyes. I look away.
    Well, childbirth’s a dangerous thing, says Mercy. An you arrived a month early. I’ll tell you somethin, sometimes I think it was my fault.
    Yer fault? says Emmi, lookin surprised.
    Yes, says Mercy. I was all set to come an help. It was planned. I was gonna be there two weeks before you was due an help with the birthin, just like I did with Saba an Lugh. Sometimes I think, if only I’d come earlier, if only I’d been there, maybe Allis would have lived. But you cain’t think like that. If you do, you’ll make yourself crazy. I did get there in time to help keep you alive, red little scrap that you were, an I comfort myself with that. With the thought that Allis might be gone, but her daughter lives. I see her in you.
    You do? says Em, her eyes wide.
    I most surely do. Except for the eyes, you favor your pa, but you’re like her here. An here. Mercy touches her heart, then her head. I can see it. Would you like to know somethin else?
    Yes, says Emmi.
    Your ma wanted you so much, says Mercy. She couldn’t of been happier when she found out you was comin … her an your pa.
    I never knew that, whispers Em.
    Well, says Mercy, now you do. An I know she’d be proud that you turned out so fine.
    Emmi looks at me an then quickly looks down at the ground agin.
    I always blamed Emmi fer the fact that Ma’s dead. I never made no secret of it. Now, hearin what Mercy says, I start to think about the fact that nobody asks to be born into this world. An nobody can stop theirselves bein born. Not even Emmi.
    Babies keep their own time, says Mercy. She takes Emmi’s hand. It ain’t no one’s fault your ma died. There ain’t no one to blame.
    Pa said it was writ in the stars, says Emmi.
    Oh child, says Mercy, there ain’t no plan written in the sky. Some people just die too soon.
    But Pa was a star reader, I says. He always told us how everythin was set in the stars the moment the world began. The story of everybody’s life is right up there.
    That’s where Willem an me fell out, she says. Why we didn’t all stick together when we left Hopetown. He looked to the sky for answers. I look at what’s in front of me, what’s around me, what’s inside of me.
    Lugh thinks it’s all jest somethin Pa made up in his head, I says.
    What do you think? she says.
    Saba always thinks what Lugh tells her to, says Emmi.
    I do not! I says.
    Yes you do, she says.
    Well, says Mercy, maybe it’s time you started makin up your own mind about things. As far as I’m concerned, stars is just … stars.
    She tips her head back. She stares at the sky so long, it’s almost like she’s up there with the stars an the moon an the planets, like she’s fergot we’re here. I clear my throat. She gives a start. Smiles at us.
    Of course, she says, there’s always a chance I could be wrong.

    It took ages to git Emmi to lie down inside on Mercy’s cot, even though she was pretty much to sleep on her feet. Mercy’s laid on the red bench, her arms behind her head. Tracker’s stretched out nearby.
    I sit by the fire. Poke at the embers with the toe of my boot.
    Why didn’t Pa bring us here? I says. I keep my voice low, so’s Emmi don’t wake.
    Mercy says, So things was bad at Silverlake.
    Yeah, I says. An gittin worse all the time.
    I asked him to come, she says. After Allis died. I might not be the most sociable person, but I’d never turn away a friend in need. There would of been room here for all of you. We could of rubbed along all right. But he wouldn’t hear of it. Told me he didn’t want my help.
    I says, Lugh thinks he wouldn’t leave Silverlake because of Ma.
    Mercy sighs. That’s partly true, she says. But there was more to it than that. He thought you’d be safe there. They both did.
    Safe? I says. Safe from