Blood Red Road

can go … here. Right between me an Jack.
    My head shoots up. What? I says. Oh no! I go over an grab my bedroll. You go in between Jack an me. That ’ud be better, don’t you think? That way, uh … you can talk to both of us. How about that?
    But Jack put me in charge! Emmi puts her hands on her hips. He unloads the horses, you do the fire an I set out the bedrolls! Ain’t that right, Jack?
    I thought it was, says Jack. But I guess yer sister don’t think yer up to the job, Emmi.
    They both look at me. Emmi’s got her face all scrinched tight. She does that when she’s upset an tryin not to let her chin wobble. Jack’s face is blank, like he don’t give a hoot one way or th’other. I don’t trust him fer a second. He knows I don’t wanna lie next to him, but I cain’t tell Em that. As far as she’s concerned, I’m jest bein mean to her like usual an not givin her a chance. He’s got me this time.
    That ain’t true, I says. I hand my bedroll back to Em. Sorry, Em. Of course it’s yer job. I’ll leave it to you.
    While she’s busy puttin her arrangements to rights agin, I go over to where Jack’s unloadin Ajax an Hermes.
    I know what yer up to, I says. An it ain’t gonna work.
    Is that right? He don’t look at me, but keeps on pilin the saddlebags an other gear. Fer future reference, he says, I’d be grateful if you’d tell me what it is I’m supposed to be up to that ain’t gonna work. That way I won’t bother gittin up to it agin.
    I frown. There you go agin, doin that eel thing, I says. What yer up to, Jack, is … is tryin to make me look like a fool all the time!
    Oh, is that what I’m up to?
    You know damn well it is!
    Then I apologize, he says. Most sincerely.
    He smiles. A pleasant smile. Not cocky or arrogant. I dunno what to make of it.
    Well …, I says, all right then. Jest mind you don’t do it agin.
    I promise, he says, the next time you look like a fool, it’ll be all yer own doin. He winks at me as he picks up the saddlebags. Fire needs tendin, he says.
    I stand there fer a moment. He jest got me agin, the bastard.
    But I feel a little smile sneak over my face.

    Night, Saba, says Emmi. Night, Jack.
    She rolls over onto her side, facin away from me, an soon she’s fast to sleep. Nero’s set on his roost in a tree nearby.
    I stare at the night sky. It’s high an light an clouds scud across the face of the moon. I clutch my blanket around me tight, lie stiff as a board. I’m so aware of Jack lyin next to me. The warmth of him, the sound of his breathin, the slight rise an fall of his chest I can see outta the corner of my eye.
    There’s a rustle as he moves. I look an he’s facin me, propped up on one elbow. The dyin fire catches on his cheekbones, shadows his eyes. My stummick jumps. Shivers. I look away.
    He reaches out an touches the heartstone, lyin in the hollow of my neck. Draws his hand away quick.
    It’s hot, he says.
    I know, I says. I pull it over my head an shove it down in my bedroll. Stupid thing, I says. Dunno why I wear it.
    After a bit he says, Tell me about yer brother.
    We’re twins, I says.
    Ah, he says. I figgered he must be somethin special fer you to go through so much to find him. What’s he like?
    I think. It’s always the same when somebody asks me about Lugh. Mercy, Helen, Maev … even Emmi. I wanna talk about him an at the same time I don’t. I feel like, if I do talk about him I’m givin away little bits of him that I wanna keep to myself.
    Our ma died birthin Emmi, I says. An after that, Pa … well, he warn’t ever the same. He didn’t seem to care about nuthin no more. Not us or … not anythin … not really. If it hadn’t of bin fer Lugh keepin food on the table an a roof over our heads, I believe we would of all died. Lugh an me was only nine year when Ma died, same as Emmi is now. So he ain’t afeared of takin things on. Never has bin.
    But what’s he like? says Jack.
    He’s … well, he’s funny, I says, an kind an … he’s real smart. I guess he paid attention to what Pa told him. Not like me. He knows … everythin. He can fix anythin, he knows the land an creatures an … me. He’s th’only person in the world who really knows me.
    DeMalo. Dark eyes, almost black, meet mine .
    Lookin deep inside of me. Findin my darkest thoughts, my worst fears .
    He sounds too good to be true, says Jack.
    His voice seems to come from a long ways away.
    What’d you say? I says.
    I said … that Lugh