Bride & Groom

to incriminate himself. The injections. I suppose that he found the police very slow to catch on. Eventually, he might as well have left notes saying that he was a veterinarian.”
    “You never asked him?”
    “Never.”
    “Did you think about turning him in?”
    “He was my husband! And he was trying to atone. Misguidedly. But he was trying to make amends. And my children! How could Olivia and Ian bear it if I turned their father over to the police?”
    “And now?”
    “Olivia is strong. She has my strength. But Ian! He is so sensitive. He always has been. A trial would have been dreadful for Ian. Worse for Ian than for Bruce. We talked about Ian just this morning, about the music he’d be playing at your wedding. Bruce was in an odd mood. He’d decided, I suppose. He cooked himself a big breakfast. Eggs with hot sauce. Sausages. He knew I’d be going out, of course. To groom Uli. I do that every Saturday morning. He waited until I left. And then he E-mailed you. To spare me. I’m sorry that you’ve had to go through this. The ugliness! And on the day before your wedding.”
    “Mac trusted me.”
    “It’s strange, but I almost do, too. A woman who’s been betrayed as I’ve been trusts almost no one. But you and I are bonded. Through dogs. We know what love is. And I’m happy that you’ve found Steve. You won’t have a life of lies and betrayal.”
    “The only perfect fidelity I ever expect isn’t from human beings. It’s from—”
    “Your dogs. Of course.” She leaned over to stroke Uli’s head.
    I quoted Senator Vest’s eulogy, which is not, as Judith certainly knew, a eulogy on marriage: “ ‘Faithful and true, even to death.’ ”
    Then, feeling close to Judith and ashamed to deceive her, I told her that Mac was still alive.
     

CHAPTER 40
     
    “I’ve had a life of unconditional love,” I said to Judith. “I know what it is to be loved by someone who’d never betray me and who cannot lie. Whenever I’ve thought that I’d never again know absolute trust and absolute fidelity, life has surprised me by sending that grace in some new and unexpected form.”
    “Sammy,” she said. “Because Rowdy can’t live forever.”
    Now and throughout the conversation that followed, Judith always kept at least one hand on Uli. Although it would have been easier for the old dog to sleep at her feet than it was for him to sit at her side, he made the effort to keep his head where she could touch it effortlessly. Sometimes he leaned his body against her for support. Sometimes he shifted position to rest the weight of his great head on her lap.
    “And Kimi,” I said. “Their love for me isn’t identical. Their styles are different. Rowdy is lighthearted. He can turn serious if the need arises, but Kimi is a deeply serious soul. And I love them for who they are.”
    “No dog of mine has ever wanted other women,” Judith said.
    “No dog of mine, either.” It somehow felt right to rest my hand, too, on Uli head’s, near Judith’s hand. “Judith, I cannot begin to imagine your pain. I don’t know whether you know that Steve was married before. Recently. And briefly. But he was. I’d refused to marry him. So he married someone else. Precipitously. On the rebound. Stupidly. But he did it. And she was more horrible than I can begin to say. She cheated on him. Almost worse, for Steve, she was vicious to his dogs. He has a pitiful little pointer, Lady, who was brought to him for euthanasia. Steve rescued her. He kept her. And that monster kicked Lady. I saw her do it. To this day, I can barely make myself say that woman’s name aloud. For all that she and Steve are divorced, for all that he is marrying me, I hate her with all my heart. I would truly like to strangle her.”
    “But you love Steve. Peculiar, isn’t it? That that’s humanly possible?”
    “It is peculiar,” I agreed. “But I do love Steve. I love him in spite of... I love him in spite of Anita.”
    “With dogs,” said Judith, “there’s never that spite, is there?”
    “I didn’t mean—”
    “Are you sure? But I’m diverting you with word games. It’s a bad habit of mine.”
    “Mine, too,” I said. “Word games and dog talk.”
    “Distraction from agony. The fascination of true love. There’s nothing wrong with either one, Holly."
    I slid my hand slowly and tenderly across Uli’s soft, clean coat until my palm rested on Judith’s hand. “Judith,” I said, almost whispering, “Mac wouldn’t have