Bullheaded

I have a place to go when no one wants to watch my sorry carcass flop around on top of a bull. Home is where they can’t turn you out, even when they turn you out to pasture.”
    The bitterness in his voice surprised even himself. Cody was a star, but the time was coming soon when he wouldn’t be anymore, and he couldn’t bear to think of the loss. So far he was gagging on it.
    “I’ll still want to watch your sorry carcass, no matter what you’re doing.”
    “Even if I have to quit I’ll still have this place. I’m glad my parents are okay with us living here.”
    “It’s a great place,” Johnny said softly. “I love it here.”
    Cody stopped his horse alongside Johnny’s. The saddle creaked as he leaned closer to give him a kiss. “Even though I like the circuit, this is one thing I do like better about being here. No one for miles around—”
    “Except your parents.”
    “They don’t care, even if they saw us.”
    “I know.”
    The sun was warm on Cody’s back as they walked their horses alongside the east pasture standing high with grass, almost too warm. When they reached the line of firs, it was a relief to pass into the dappled shade. He led the way even higher, heading for the clearing where he could see the mountains to the east, the ocean to the west, and the ranch a few hundred feet below.
    Something always drove him to his favorite tree, an ancient live oak where the remnants of the tree house he’d built with his father still perched in the branches. It made him feel as though he belonged here in a way he’d never been able to express to Johnny, but Cody always brought him here when they got back, as if in some way this spot tied together everything that was most important to him. They ground hitched the horses, leaving them to crop the grass.
    When they reached the tree, he ran a hand affectionately over the bark and then turned to plant his back against the trunk, pulling Johnny back against him and wrapping his arms around him so they could both look down on the ranch below.
    Route 101 leading to Santa Rafael was visible, but they were far enough away that they couldn’t hear the sound of the passing traffic. His mother’s horses grazed in one fenced pasture while the bulls occupied another on higher ground closer to the hills. He could see RJ, Travis, and the other hands moving around between the barn and the bunkhouse, doing the morning chores. Tomorrow he and Johnny would be down there with them, giving them a hand, but the first morning home belonged to him and Johnny alone.

    T HE air felt soft and warm as he heaved in a huge sigh of happiness. Johnny gave a light snort as Cody’s arms tightened around him.
    “Know what I want to do?”
    “Yeah, I think I have a clue.”
    “What kind of clue?” Cody slid a hand down to rub the front of Johnny’s crotch through his jeans.
    Johnny ground his ass against Cody’s groin. “Something’s coming up between us.”
    “Nothing will ever come between us, baby.”
    “I love how you can see the ocean from here,” Johnny said dreamily. “You ever used to go there or did you spend all your time on the ranch doing chores?”
    “I used to surf, dude. I ripped.”
    “I suppose that means you did something epically good.”
    “Of course.” Cody began to chuckle and shook his head. “And also epically bad. I wiped out a lot, but I learned the most important thing about any sport. Keep your balance. I also found the glory holes in the bathroom and played both sides. I was such a slut when I was younger. I think I spent more time in the restroom at the beach than on the waves.”
    “What were you doing?” Johnny turned his head to stare, trying to imagine a teenage Cody and how everyone who saw him must have wanted him.
    “What do you think? Sucking and getting sucked. It was a playground of free dick back then. And I was kinda cute. I had no trouble hooking up.”
    “You’re still….” Johnny paused as he felt Cody tighten his embrace, obviously waiting for a compliment. “Passable.”
    “Passable? I was hot young teenage ass. Everyone wanted a piece. They still do.”
    “How did you, uh, meet people?”
    “Meet them? I never asked their names. I’d show them mine, they’d show me theirs. You could tell if they were interested, and they were always interested in me. Sometimes I’d sit in a stall waiting for a guy to tap his foot under the partition.”
    “That was the secret handshake?”
    “It’s one of the