Bullheaded

mean it wasn’t worth it.”
    “That sounds like a fucking greeting card.”
    “Actually, I think it was from a fucking calendar,” Val said.
    Cody couldn’t help but laugh before he groaned. “This sucks. I hate drama-queen diva gay guys. I want to know when it gets better.”
    “I can’t give you a timetable. It’s going to hurt for a while, and you’ll have to bear with it ’til it eases. It’s like a broken bone. Hurts like hell at first, then it heals up, and the pain goes away.”
    Leaving a scar that would always be there, Cody thought, but he didn’t say it. He was fucking thirty-two and whimpering to his mother like a kid. “I’d better get to work.”
    Val didn’t say anything to keep him from it, but she gave him the hug he needed before he left.

Chapter 10:
How to Find the Action

    A FTER the encounter in the men’s room on the highway, Johnny became more aware of subtle clues he’d apparently never noticed when he was with Cody. He also learned to recognize the signs earlier and stop a man’s advances before it got to the point of a sexual encounter that made him feel dirty or coerced.
    Of course, before, he hadn’t needed to take notice. Cody was a source of constant hot dick and he never needed to look elsewhere.
    Now he had to if he wanted to get some action. He had considered picking out some guy who seemed gay and following him, but the odds of that action leading to sex rather than jail didn’t seem that good. He could see himself getting charged as a stalker rather than being led to a great bar full of hot guys. He would have to do this a different way.
    On the Internet Johnny discovered a wealth of gay smut; to him, the Internet wasn’t made of cats, instead it was a giant forest of cock and ass designed to drive a horny man insane. All you had to do was join one of the cruising sites and type in what you were in the market for. He discovered if a man wanted to top, he could get more replies than he could even answer. It also trained him to question a potential partner’s status, something he’d never had to do when he was hooked up with Cody, or before.
    There was webcam sex, sexting, IMing, Grindr hookups of every kind: you host, I host, we meet under a bridge for troll sex. Somehow it felt a little too much like a supermarket, where the interchange of sperm was a deal to be made with no human connection desired or necessary. Also he felt uneasy leaving that kind of trail on his laptop. He was no celebrity but he was in a dangerous profession. If the worst should happen and he ended up in a hospital, he would hate for Vern or Reese to retrieve his laptop and God forbid, come face-to-face with who he really was.
    Besides, he was curious to see how much action he could scare up in person. He discovered websites that gave the location of gay bars and baths in different cities. He didn’t think he was quite ready for the baths; they sounded too intense.
    He decided to start with bars and stay out of rest stop bathrooms for a while, except for the purpose for which they were intended.

    J OHNNY had never been inside a gay bar before. It surprised him to find one like this in Toledo. Maybe shocked was a better word. Men were practically having sex on the dance floor and literally having sex in the dark hallway that led to the bathroom. He could only imagine what was going on in there.
    It was awful and exhilarating. Johnny half turned to say something to Cody, a habit he’d caught himself in more and more recently. Pulling himself together, Johnny lined up at the bar to get a beer. He had a cold one in his hand quicker than he’d thought possible, but then he towered over most of the men, what with his hat and all.
    He carried his beer to a table that had just freed up and sat down with his back to the wall to watch.
    It was odd to feel so alone and yet totally at home. It must be the difference of a place where being gay was the norm as opposed to sticking out like the rogue bull at the edge of the herd. Johnny wasn’t sure he would ever be comfortable enough to whip it out in the back hall to get sucked off, but it was a revelation to be around so many men just putting it out there. Men openly on the hunt for pleasure.
    In the darkness, he became aware that hands were groping other men in places not usually considered suitable for polite society. He had to grin at himself. When had he become such a prissy stick-in-the-mud at his age? He needed to get out more.
    “Hey,