Bullheaded

Johnny. Mind if I join you?”
    Looking up, Johnny was startled to recognize the young man standing hesitantly by the table. He stood up and offered his hand. “Zane Winslow, isn’t it?”
    “Right. Actually, I’m Z-man here.” They shook and Zane put his beer on the table before he sat down. “I wasn’t sure you’d remember me.”
    “Don’t sell yourself short.” Johnny felt a little alarm bell go off at the eager look on Zane’s face. The kid was cute but he was no Cody. Kid. Zane had to be near his age. Somehow he just seemed a lot younger. “I didn’t realize you were legal.”
    “Twenty-two. I’m a little late getting started in bull riding.” Zane hunched a shoulder defensively.
    “Sometimes it’s better not to start too young. So, how’s the riding going?”
    “Great! I’ve really been able to up my game since that week at the ranch. I can’t thank you enough.”
    “It’s Cody you need to thank. He’s the one who organized it.”
    “But you’re the one who spent time with me one-on-one. I really appreciate it.”
    Somehow Johnny got the feeling Zane was used to being overlooked in the shadows. He was a pretty quiet kid. He could empathize with that. He also got the uncomfortable feeling Zane wouldn’t mind a little more one-on-one time of a different kind with him. “You’ve got a lot of natural talent. You’ll do well.”
    “Barring an injury, I sure hope to.” Zane let his gaze wander around the room. “I’ve never seen you in one of these places before.”
    “Never been in one.” Johnny laughed at the shock on Zane’s face.
    “How old are you?”
    “Twenty-three.”
    “Shit! I’ve been going for years. Waiting for Cody?”
    “No.”
    “Oh, right. He’s on break from the Top Cut. Always in the top thirty, right?”
    “Yeah, he never rides bad enough to fall out of the top posse.”
    “You, uh, slipping around on him?”
    “We split. Shit!” Johnny could have kicked himself. After all the time guarding their secret, he had just outed Cody without thinking. “Listen, Za—Z-man, forget I said that. Cody—he—”
    Zane smiled sympathetically. “Don’t worry. I usually hang out in a nice, comfortable closet of my own. I don’t come to places like this often except on the road, and I don’t mention to people here what I do for work.”
    For the first time, Johnny realized that although nothing could make Zane look anything but a cowboy to him, he was wearing a tight rock band T-shirt tucked into belted jeans and had left off the cowboy hat. That made Johnny resolve not to wear his again. The Stetson was like a walking advertisement for the rodeo. That is, if he ever had the balls to venture out into a bar again. He had a lot to learn. “Thanks. That was a bum move.”
    “I’m sorry to hear you guys split. I thought you were great together.”
    Awkwardly, Johnny asked, “Were we that obvious?”
    “Nah. The other guys probably didn’t catch on, but my gaydar’s pretty honed. Gotta have it juiced up in this life.”
    “You see the other guys much?”
    “Yeah, we all ride in the touring division pretty often. You’ll probably see them tomorrow at the venue. So why did you guys split?”
    Johnny shook his head in silence. He wasn’t going to talk it over with strangers.
    “Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry into something that’s none of my business. It’s just a shame. Not too often you see a couple that stays together too long except in the gay rodeo.” Zane lifted his chin at the dance floor. “I don’t have a boyfriend. With all the traveling I mostly only get one-nighters. I don’t suppose you’d….”
    Johnny smiled. “Sorry. You’re a cute guy but it wouldn’t seem right.”
    “Yeah, I feel you. Well, wish you luck. Nice seeing you.”
    “Good luck with the riding.”
    Johnny was surprised at the bawdy laugh Zane gave out.
    “Good one. Yeah, I hope I find a good one to ride. You too, huh?” With a sly wink and a nudge in the ribs, Zane abandoned his beer and walked over to a good-looking man in a suit who was giving him the eye.
    Being recognized shook Johnny. Being reminded of Cody by someone outside their family circle who’d known about them made him sad but also angry. He came here to get laid, and dammit, he was going to. For a second he regretted knocking Zane back. He was a good-looking guy and he obviously knew the score both from the gay end and the rodeo end. But it wouldn’t have been right. Johnny told himself there