Carnal Innocence

come prepared. “My grandmother’s grandfather lost a leg at Antietam pushing General Burnside’s troops off the stone bridge.”
    Lulu pursed her lisp and considered. “And when would that have been?”
    “September 17, 1862.” Caroline smiled and blessed her grandmother’s carefully documented family Bible. “His name was Silas Henry Sweeney.”
    “Sweeney, Sweeney. Seems to me there were some Sweeney cousins on my husband’s side—that’d be my second husband, Maxwell Breezeport.” Lulu squinted her eyes at Caroline and liked what she saw. The girl was fresh as a new quart of cream. And there was a sharp, stubborn look in her eyes, in the set of her chin, that Lulu approved of wholeheartedly.
    The Yankee blood was probably diluted anyway,Lulu decided, and besides, it was time Tucker settled down.
    “You come down here to sashay around Tucker, have you?”
    “Certainly not.” But Caroline found it impossible to take offense. “I have come to speak with him, though. If he’s here.”
    “Oh, he’s around right enough.” Lulu studied her palette, then plunged her brush into a pool of virulent green. “Come on up here on the porch, girl, don’t be standing down there gawking at me while I’m working. Dwayne, where’s that brother of yours? Can’t you see this girl’s come to seduce him?”
    “I have not come—” Caroline broke off and backed up a foot when Lulu leaned over to sniff at her.
    “Pretty cagey not wearing perfume.” Lulu shook the dripping brush at her. “When a man’s used to women tarting themselves up, he’ll fall flat for the smell of pure soap and water.”
    Caroline cocked a brow. “Is that so?”
    “You know it’s so. You don’t get to be … how the hell old am I, Dwayne?”
    “I think it’s eighty-four, Cousin Lulu.”
    “Eighty-four? Eighty-four?” Paint dripped on her shoes. “You’re drunk as a polecat, Dwayne. No southern lady would ever reach the miserable age of eighty-four. It ain’t seemly.”
    Dwayne considered his whiskey. He was well on the way to being sloshed, but he wasn’t stupid. “Sixty-eight,” he decided. “What I meant to say was sixty-eight.”
    “That’s better.” Lulu smudged paint on her cheek. “A dignified age. You go on in, Yankee, work your wiles on that poor, hapless boy. Just so you know I’m on to you.”
    “I’ll keep that in mind.” Unable to resist, she took a peek at the painting. It was Dwayne, cocked back in the rocker, clutching a hugely proportioned glass of whiskey. The style was somewhere between Picasso and the caricatures for
Mad
magazine. Dwayne’s face wasgreen, his eyes cracked with broken red lines. Poking up from his head were long purple donkey’s ears.
    “Ah, an interesting concept,” Caroline commented.
    “My daddy always said anybody who drinks for a living’s bound to make an ass of himself.”
    Caroline looked from the portrait to the artist. In that single silent exchange she realized that Cousin Lulu wasn’t as crazy as she pretended to be. “I wonder what reason anyone would have for choosing to drink for a living.”
    “For some, life’s reason enough. Dwayne, where’s that brother of yours? This girl’s waiting and I can’t paint with her breathing down my neck.”
    “Back in the library.” He took a comfortable swallow of whiskey. “Just go on in, Caroline. Third door down on the right of the hall.”
    Caroline stepped in. The house was so quiet, it immediately crushed her urge to call out and announce herself. The light had that mellow golden quality she associated with museums, but the silence was more like that of a lady’s elaborate boudoir while the mistress was drowsing.
    She began to have doubts that anyone was there at all. She caught herself tiptoeing down the hall.
    The door to the library was shut tight. As she put her hand up to knock, she pictured Tucker inside. Stretched out on the most comfortable flat, cushioned surface, hands cocked behind his head, legs crossed at the ankles. He would, of course, be taking his early evening, post-afternoon, pre-bedtime nap.
    She rapped softly and got no answer. With a shrug, she turned the knob and nudged the door open. She’d just wake him up, she told herself. She had things to tell him and the least he could do was stay awake long enough to listen. Because while he was busy sleeping away his life, things were …
    But he wasn’t on the curvy love seat under the west window. Nor was he sprawled in the wing