Carnal Innocence

to his still-sore ribs. The fresh pain brought a burst of wild fury into his blood. Even as they went tumbling into the pond, he was bloodying his brother’s lip.
    They went under grappling, came up sputtering and cursing. They kicked and shoved, but the water softened the blows and began to make them both feel foolish.
    Tucker scissored his legs, holding Dwayne by his torn shirt, one fist reared back. Dwayne mirrored his position so exactly, the two of them stared, panting.
    “Shit,” Tucker said, warily eyed his brother as he lowered his fist. “You used to hit harder.”
    Gingerly, Dwayne touched the back of his hand to his swollen lip. “You used to be slower.”
    They released each other to tread water. “I wanted a shower, but this isn’t half bad.” Tucker swiped the hair out of his eyes. “Though Christ knows what’s in this water.”
    “A half pint of Wild Turkey, for sure,” Dwayne said, and smiled. “Remember when we used to swim here, when we were kids?”
    “Yeah. Still think you can beat me to the other bank?”
    “Shit.” Dwayne’s smile widened to a grin. He rolled over in the water and struck out. Too many years of the bottle had slowed him. Tucker streaked by like an eel. In tacit agreement, they raced back, then floated awhile under the rising moon.
    “Yeah,” Dwayne said after they’d stopped panting. “You used be slower. I guess things’ve changed.”
    “Lots of things.”
    “I guess I’ve messed things up.”
    “Some things.”
    “I get scared, Tuck.” Dwayne fisted a hand in the water, but there was nothing there to hold on to. “The drinking—I know when I should stop, but I get so I don’t see the point in it. Sometimes I can’t remember what I’ve been up to. I’ll wake up sick and headachy, and it’s like I’ve been dreaming. I can’t make it out.”
    “We can do something about it, Dwayne. They’ve got places that take care of it.”
    “I like how I feel right now.” Through half-closed eyes, Dwayne watched the stars wink into life. “Just a nice little buzz on, so nothing seems too goddamn important. Thing to do is to catch myself right here, where I like it best.”
    “It doesn’t work that way.”
    “Sometimes I wish I could go back, see where I turned off wrong so I could fix it.”
    “You could always fix things, Dwayne. Remember that model airplane I got for my birthday? I wracked it up the second time I used it. I knew Daddy’d skin me when he found out, but you fixed it all up. Mama always said you had a talent for putting things together.”
    “I used to think I’d be an engineer.”
    Surprised, Tucker shifted to treading again. “You never told me that.”
    Dwayne merely stared up at the sky. “Wasn’t any point. Longstreets are planters and businessmen. You could have done something different maybe. But I was the oldest son. He never gave me a choice.”
    “No reason not to do what you want now.”
    “Hell, Tuck, I’m thirty-five years old. That’s no time to go back to school and learn a trade.”
    “People do, if they want it bad enough.”
    “I wanted it bad enough ten, fifteen years ago. That’s behind me. A lot of things are behind me.” He tried to make out the stars, but they were a hazy blur of light. “Sissy’s going to marry that shoe salesman.”
    “I guess we had to figure she would—him or somebody.”
    “Says he wants to adopt my kids. Give them hisname. ’Course she’d forget that soon enough if I upped the support payments.”
    “You don’t have to take that, Dwayne. Those kids are yours. They’re always going to be yours no matter what game she’s playing.”
    “Nope, don’t have to take it,” Dwayne said lazily. “And I’m not going to. Sissy’s going to have to learn that a man has his limits. Even me.” He sighed, letting his gaze drift over sky and water. “I got comfortable, Tucker.” Out of the corner of his eye Dwayne saw something bob in the water. An empty bottle, he thought, for an empty life. “Drinking makes things that way.”
    “The way you’re doing it, drinking makes you dead.”
    “Don’t start on me again.”
    “Dammit, Dwayne.” He started to move closer when his legs brushed against something soft and slick that made him yelp. “Damn cats,” he said. “Scared the shit out of me.” He kicked away, glancing over his shoulder.
    He, too, saw something bob in the water. But he didn’t mistake it for a bottle. As the spit dried to dust in his mouth, as his