Carpathian 15 - Dark Secret

didn't want to hear about Rafael and other women. She wanted to know about him. Who he was, what he thought, what mattered to him.

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    "You matter to me. Ginny and Paul matter to me. Honor matters." His black eyes, dark and brooding, moved over her face. His fingers drifted down her silken curtain of hair before reluctantly releasing her.
    "Honor is the only thing I had left to me, Colby, before you came into my life." He looked away from her, avoiding her eyes to look up at the high shadowy peaks surrounding them. "I belong in the rain forests, up in the mountains, far from people, where it is much safer for them… and for me."
    Colby kept her eyes on his face, determined to know the truth. There was something truly solitary about him, something so alone it touched her heart. She had an overwhelming desire to gather him into her arms and comfort him. "I don't see what is so wrong with needing your own space. Sometimes, there is such a bombardment of information overwhelming me that I can barely hang on. You are much more sensitive than I am, I can tell. If you read minds, the emotions must be overwhelming."
    He rubbed the bridge of his nose thoughtfully, shaking his head at her. "Naturally you would give a plausible reason for my behavior. But it is not so, pequena, I do not have the excuse of being bombarded with emotions. In truth, although I can read minds, I felt nothing at all until I met you."
    Colby continued to walk. The soft breeze was soothing, a perfect backdrop for serenity when she was struggling to understand what Rafael was telling her. "I don't understand. How could you feel nothing?
    You mean you never fell in love? What? What does that mean?"
    "I mean it in a literal sense, Colby," he continued gently. "Touch my mind, look at my memories." He didn't sound ashamed, he sounded matter-of-fact, as if he casually discussed his sins every day, not as if he was bearing his soul to her, as if he was ripping his heart out and handing it to her.
    He knew he could no longer continue without her. He knew he was too selfish to end his life, and in any case he had all but tied her to him. He had no idea of the consequences to her should they be separated.
    He had not officially bound them with the ritual words but he had exchanged blood with her on two occasions. She was partially in his world. And she needed him. She was lonely in the midst of her beloved family. And they were using her up, her generous, compassionate nature and unique gifts.
    Without those talents, it would not have been possible for Colby to run the ranch on the defective equipment as she had been doing these last few years.
    There was a vampire in the area, probably drawn by her use of her psychic talent. And there was Nicolas, so close to turning it was terrifying. And Rafael truly did not know how much longer he, himself, could endure without claiming her. More than all those reasons, Rafael knew he had never wanted anything for himself in all his long years. He wanted Colby and he wouldn't give her up.
    She reached out to him, for the first time really seeing beyond his expressionless mask. His handsome face was different when she really studied him. There were lines etched into his sensual features that hadn't been there before. There was a sorrow in the depths of his eyes as if he was suffering. Instantly her heart melted and Colby tightened her grip on his arm.
    "What is it you don't want to tell me, Rafael? Don't you think it's just better to get it out in the open?"
    Colby. Direct, to the point. He tucked thick silky strands of red-gold hair behind her small ear. "You have so much here, Colby. You are willing to give so much of yourself to those you love. I want you to love me. I am not deserving of your love. I have not only done nothing to deserve it, but I have made your life more difficult. I need you. I know I will not always be easy to be with. I am a very dominant man, sexually and otherwise. I want you to be mine. All mine." He said the words starkly, without embellishment, totally vulnerable, aware she could crush him easily with one word, one look. "But I want Generated by ABC Amber LIT Conv erter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
    you to love me, I need you to love me."
    Everything in Colby responded to the directness of his plea. He looked so alone, tall and straight, his black eyes alive with some terrible inner pain. "Why? Why do you