Clockwork Princess

hand, and the witchlight in it flared up, illuminating her face.
    It was Cecily, a blue velvet cloak wrapped around her, her dark hair loose and free around her face. Her feet were bare, peeking out beneath the hem of the cloak. He straightened up. “Cecy, what are you doing here?”
    She took a step forward, then paused on the threshold, glancing down at her bare feet. “I could ask of you the same.”
    “I like to talk to the horses at night. They make good company. And you should not be out and about in your nightgown. There are Lightwoods wandering these halls.”
    “Very funny. Where are you going, Will? If you are going to seek more
yin fen
, take me with you.”
    “I am not going to seek more
yin fen
.”
    Understanding dawned in her blue eyes. “You are going after Tessa. You are going to Cadair Idris.”
    Will nodded.
    “Take me,” she said. “Take me with you, Will.”
    Will could not look at her; he went to get the bit and bridle, though his hands shook as he took them down and turned back to Balios. “I cannot take you with me. You cannot ride Xanthos—you have not the training—and an ordinary horse would only slow our journey down.”
    “The carriage horses are automatons. You cannot hope to catch them up—”
    “I do not expect to. Balios may be the fastest horse in England, but he must rest and sleep. I am already resigned. I shall not reach Tessa on the road. I can only hope to arrive at Cadair Idris before it is too late.”
    “Then let me ride after you and do not worry if you outpace me—”
    “Be reasonable, Cecy!”
    “Reasonable?” she flared. “All I see is my brother going away from me again! It has been years, Will! Years, and I came to London to find you, and now that we are together again, you are leaving!”
    Balios stirred uneasily as Will fitted the bit into his mouth and slid the bridle up over his head. Balios did not like shouting. Will gentled him with a hand on his neck.
    “Will.” Cecily sounded dangerous. “Look at me, or I shall go wake the household and stop you, I swear that I will.”
    Will leaned his head against the horse’s neck and closed his eyes. He could smell hay and horse, and cloth and sweat and some of the sweet scent of smoke that still clung to his clothes, from the fire in Jem’s room. “Cecily,” he said. “I need to know that you are here and as safe as you can be, or I cannot leave. I cannot fear for Tessa ahead on the road, and you behind me, or the fear will break me down. Already too many that I love are in danger.”
    There was a long silence. Will could hear the beat of Balios’s heart under his ear, but nothing else. He wondered if Cecily had left, walked out while he was speaking, perhaps to rouse the household. He lifted his head.
    But no, Cecily was still standing where she had been, the witchlight burning in her hand. “Tessa said that you called out for me once,” she said. “When you were ill. Why me, Will?”
    “Cecily.” The word was a soft exhale. “For years you were my—my talisman. I thought I had killed Ella. I left Wales to keep you safe. As long as I could imagine you thriving and happy and well, the pain of missing you and Mother and Father was worth it.”
    “I never understood why you left,” Cecily said. “And I thought the Shadowhunters were monsters. I could not understand why you had come here, and I thought—I always thought—that when I was old enough, I would come, and pretend I wished to be a Shadowhunter myself, until I could convince you to come home. When I learned of the curse, I did not know what to think anymore. I understood why you had come but not why you stayed.”
    “Jem—”
    “But even if he dies,” she said, and he flinched, “you will not come home to Mam and Dad, will you? You are a Shadowhunter, through and through. As Father never was. It is why you have been so stubborn about writing to them. You do not know how to both ask forgiveness and also say that you are not coming home.”
    “I can’t come home, Cecily, or at least, it is not my home any longer. I am a Shadowhunter. It is in my blood.”
    “You know I am your sister, do you not?” she said. “It is also in my blood.”
    “You said you were pretending.” He searched her face for a moment and said slowly, “But you are not, are you? I have seen you, training, fighting. You feel it as I did. As if the floor of the Institute is the first really solid ground under your feet. As if you have found the