Cloud Walking

the guy had issues. I had seen first-hand how all over the place he was. But when he had gone off at the dance because Maggie was dancing with Luke Tyler, it had seriously freaked me out.

    And the way she had taken off after him, without a thought to anything else, scared the crap out of me. I had followed her outside with every intention of using bodily restraint to stop her from making, what I was sure was a horrible mistake.

    But then I had seen Kylie and Daniel kissing out by the parking lot and that had been it. Put a fork in me, I was done.

    So I had begged Ray to give me a lift. I was done with standing there like an idiot while my friends made crappy life decisions. I had gone home and went straight to bed.

    The next morning, my mom had come into my room. “How was the dance?” she had asked me as I sat up in bed. My head was killing me and I knew the headache came from the ridiculous amount of crying from the night before.

    I sighed and my mom had grimaced. “That bad, huh?” she said, reaching out to touch my arm. “What happened?” she asked me and I couldn't help the look of surprise that I gave her. I couldn't remember the last time she and I had a heart to heart about my life. She was either too busy or too exhausted to worry much about what I was doing.

    “You don't need to worry about my boy drama, Mom. Did you just get home from work? You must be tired.” I tried to shift the focus of the conversation elsewhere. I really didn't feel liked rehashing my humiliation from the night before. My mom made a pained expression.

    “I haven't been the best mom lately, have I?” she asked me, gripping her hands tightly together in her lap. I widened my eyes. What in the world brought this on? I was feeling emotionally raw and wasn't entirely sure I could handle this discussion right now.

    “You do the best you can,” I answered diplomatically. But I really meant it. While, yes I did feel bitter and resentful at times, deep down I understood she was doing all that she could for Kaitlyn and me.

    “But sometimes you need more than that.” My mom took one of my hands in hers. “Talk to me, Rachel. Maybe your ol' ma could give you some advice. I know I've made some pretty horrible choices in my life, but I remember what it's like to be young.” Her smile, while weak, was genuine.

    I needed to unload the weight from my heart so badly. Maggie was out of the question. Not with the state of her love life. And I wasn't close enough to anyone else to really talk to them. And I did want to talk to my mother. I wanted to repair that part of our relationship. That part that knew I could come to her no matter what.

    So I told her. All about Daniel. My feelings for him, the seesaw of our relationship. The way he ditched me, once again last night, to go off with Kylie. When I was done, I could feel the tears drying on my cheeks from where they had fallen during my story.

    My mother reached over to my bedside table and grabbed a couple of tissues. She gently rubbed them across my face, wiping the wetness away. “Sweetheart, I'm so sorry.” I leaned my head down until it rested on her shoulder. Her arm came up to wrap around me and she held me tight against her, the same way she had when I was a little girl.

    We were quiet for a while. I soaked up the comfort she so willingly gave me. Finally, she lifted my chin with her fingers. “Rachel, you put everyone and everything above what you want. Your friends, your family. Somewhere along the way you've gotten it in your head that your feelings and wants are second fiddle to what everyone else feels and wants. I know that's my fault. But darling, you are an amazing, loving, loyal girl who should only have the best in life.” My mom's smile was soft as she looked at me and the tears started all over again.

    “I just want to be the only thing he sees. I want to feel like we're walking on clouds when we're together. That I'm the girl he wants,” I whispered, feeling completely bare by my confession.

    “Baby girl, you deserve some cloud walkin'.” I snorted at her statement.

    “Cloud walking, huh?” I teased, feeling a little better from our conversation. I never thought I'd see the day where any sort of advice from my mom would make me feel anything other than annoyed and frustrated. But here we were. Me a mess and her a mess. But together we made a weird sort of sense.

    “Yes, Rach. Cloud walking. And don't settle for anything less,” she had