Clouds and Rain

He‟d come down here to get away from Gable, thinking that Gable wouldn‟t struggle down those narrow stairs on his crutches, but he had been wrong. It was damn cold, though, and he was shivering, which wasn‟t surprising since he was wearing next to nothing.
    The door behind him opened again.

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    Zahra Owens

    “If I go back upstairs, will you come inside?” Flynn turned toward Gable and nodded. “But stay here. We need to talk.”
    Gable looked concerned, and Flynn knew his words were only going to make that worse, but he had no choice. Too much had been left unsaid and this night was another prime example of that. He walked inside, Gable holding the door open as best he could, leaning on his crutches. As Flynn felt the warm air from inside, he shivered violently.
    He wanted to throw himself into Gable‟s arms, but besides not being very practical, it would also defeat the purpose. They were going to have to talk and that meant not sitting too close to each other.
    It wasn‟t until he passed Gable that Flynn noticed Gable was carrying his oilskin coat. He threw Gable a short thankful look and took it from him before putting it on and going inside.
    “I figured since yours was still drying….” Gable said, with clear hesitation in his voice. “We should really buy you one of these too. The rain flows right off them and they‟re very warm.” Flynn huddled into the coat and sat down in the single chair next to the daybed, slowly feeling the warmth seep into him. It didn‟t hurt that it smelled of Gable.
    “It‟s expensive,” Flynn replied, knowing he was just looking for something to say that was less laden than what he was supposed to talk to Gable about.
    Gable shrugged as he sat down on the daybed, but Flynn could tell he was nervous and trying hard not to show it. Then Gable‟s expression changed.
    “You‟ve been crying.”
    Flynn shook his head and wiped his face with his hand. “It‟s bloody cold out,” he replied, knowing he was lying and Gable was right.
    “I‟m sorry if I made you cry.”
    Now it was Flynn‟s turn to shrug. He couldn‟t look Gable in the eye, though, not even when Gable scooted a little closer. Flynn knew it would be hard for Gable to keep his balance, leaning toward him from 134

    Clouds and Rain

    the daybed to touch him, with only one leg to keep him from falling forward. Flynn allowed Gable to take his hand, but he didn‟t squeeze it.
    “I‟m sorry I made you do something you didn‟t want to do.” Flynn shook his head. “I wanted it so badly, Gable. I wanted to make love to you so badly, but I wanted it to be good for you too. Not like this. Not like it was.” He vaguely gestured upstairs.
    Gable pulled their joined hands toward him, and at first Flynn resisted, but he couldn‟t hold out for long. He wanted Gable to hold him and tell him everything would be okay, even if he knew it wasn‟t true. He allowed himself to be pulled to his feet and onto the narrow daybed next to Gable. He let Gable kiss him too, not the passionate hungry kisses that had led to the debacle upstairs, but slow, tender, and chaste kisses.
    “I wish I could give you more, but I wanted it too. I wanted to feel you inside me, hoping it would wake something up down there, but it didn‟t. The doctors told me it could possibly recover, but they warned me that it might not.”
    When Flynn finally dared to look into Gable‟s eyes, he saw they were wet too. He ran his hand over Gable‟s cheeks, even though no tears had rolled down them.
    “I meant what I said, Gabe. I‟m not leaving.”
    “You deserve a real man,” Gable protested.
    “You are as real to me as I need,” Flynn replied firmly. “We‟ll find a way to make this work.”
    “You deserve better.”
    “No, I don‟t.” Flynn shook his head determinedly. “I can live without the sex, Gable, but I can‟t live without this. I need to be allowed to be close to you. I need to be allowed to hold you and touch you and kiss you without feeling that you can‟t wait to get away from me. And I need the little things too, the little gestures between lovers. I need you to touch me too. I need you to want to touch me and not get the feeling you‟re just doing it out of some sort of…. “ Flynn couldn‟t immediately find the right words.
    “I need this too, Flynn.”

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    Zahra Owens

    “I know,” Flynn nodded and kissed Gable again. “Don‟t think I didn‟t notice all those times you took my hand in the