Coda 01 - Promises

ground gave away the season.
    Matt stood with me through the funeral and either didn’t notice or didn’t acknowledge the smirks on the faces of some of his fellow police officers, including Officer Jameson. When it was over, he said, “Let’s go say hello.”
    “Are you crazy?” I snapped.

    “Jared.” His voice was calm and reasonable. “Just come over, let me introduce you. Shake hands and we’ll go.”

    “No. You go. I’ll be in the car.”
    I could tell he was annoyed, but I didn’t care. How could I smile while he introduced me when I had just seen them elbowing each other over my presence at his side?
    We drove back to my place in silence. I thought he was mad about my refusal to meet his coworkers, but as I was about to get out, he said suddenly, “It’s my fault she died, isn’t it?” He wasn’t looking at me but was staring straight ahead through the windshield.
    “It’s not.”
    “It is. I was dating her, and he was jealous, and he killed her. And the worst part is I didn’t even care about her. I was using her, being a stupid, selfish bastard, and it got her killed.”
    We both knew that Dan’s violence toward Cherie had been increasing for years, and I thought it might have ended the same way with or without Matt. But I also couldn’t deny that having Matt as a rival would make any man feel threatened.
    “What about Dan? Do you have any idea where he is?”
    He seemed to shake off his momentary depression and turned to face me. “No. That bastard never seemed very smart, but he’s managed to avoid us so far.”
    He was still sitting in the Jeep, which surprised me. “Aren’t you coming in?”
    “Not tonight. I have to go. I had to trade a shift to get the morning off for the funeral. I go in at two, I’m off at ten, but then I have to be back in at six tomorrow.”
    “Oh.” I tried to sound casual, but I felt like he was avoiding being alone with me. “I’ll see you later then.”

    He must have heard something in my voice, because he grabbed my arm and then waited until I looked at him.
    “I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong.” “Am I?”
He gave me one of his beautiful smiles and said, “I promise.”
    T HE next night was Thursday, our last tutoring session before the Thanksgiving break, and I only had four kids show up. I ordered pizza again. Between them, they had managed to come up with about seven dollars, which they handed to me proudly.
    At this point, I didn’t have to help them much. It had become more of a supervised study group, but I was there if they got stuck. I was pretty sure a few of them only came for the social aspect, but I didn’t mind.
    We were just getting started when Matt knocked on the door. “You don’t have to knock, you know,” I told him after I let him in.
    He gave me the pseudo-grin. “I’ll remember that.” He glanced into the dining room, at the kids gathered around the table, and scowled. “I forgot it was Thursday.”
    “There’s pizza on the way.”

    “How long do they stay?” I was surprised by how annoyed he seemed to be.

    “They’ll be gone by nine.”
    He looked over at them again and then pulled me into the hallway where we were out of sight. He wrapped one arm around my waist, pulled me against him, and whispered into my hair, “Can’t you make them go home?”
    The implications of his questions finally dawned on me, and my body instantly responded. He was holding me tight enough against him that I knew he could feel the effect his words had on me. He moaned a little and backed me against the wall. “Jared, please….”
    But just then, the doorbell rang and four teenagers shouted in unison, “Pizza!”
“They have a test tomorrow.”
    He kissed my neck, just below my ear, and then let go of me. “This is going to be a long two hours, isn’t it?” But he was smiling when he said it.
    He sat in the living room reading while I helped the kids. I wondered if they could tell how distracted I was. Half the time, I was thinking about what we would be doing once they left. But I hadn’t forgotten the warning Chief White had given me, and I was worried that Matt wasn’t thinking about the consequences of being with me. Then I would start thinking again about how much I wanted him, and then that would make me feel guilty that maybe I wasn’t thinking about the consequences of his actions.
    The kids finally started packing up their books, getting ready to leave. Matt saw and headed for the