Cold Kiss

and private.
    I curl up on one end of the couch and balance the mug on my knee, letting the warmth bleed through to my hands. When Gabriel goes to turn on the one lamp, I say, “Don’t.”
    He doesn’t question me. Instead, he comes to sit beside me, and looks at me for a minute before he pulls my feet up and starts to unlace my boots. They fall to the floor, two heavy thuds, and then it’s silent again.
    There’s too much to talk about, so we don’t talk at all. But I’m grateful to have someone to sit with me in the dark.

CHAPTER TWENTY

    WAKING UP ON GABRIEL’S SOFA IS STARTING TO feel weirdly familiar, which is something I definitely would not have guessed a week ago. My neck is stiff and my right foot is asleep, but I push into a sitting position as quietly as I can, because Gabriel is still out on the other end of the couch.
    And Olivia is sitting on the coffee table, drinking what smells like strong coffee and smiling at me sort of sheepishly. “Hey,” she says.
    I blink and swallow. The inside of my mouth feels like a sweaty sock, and I’m uncomfortably aware of the way my hair is sticking up in seventeen directions. “Um. Hey.”
    “There’s a spare toothbrush in the bathroom, if you want.” She smiles over her mug and glances at Gabriel. “He’ll probably be out for a while still. But there’s coffee and breakfast, too. You must be starving.”
    I am, I realize as my stomach responds with a painful twist. I can’t remember the last time I ate anything substantial, and we must have fallen asleep crazy early. The last thing I remember is putting down my mug of tea and letting Gabriel gather me against him so I could tuck my head into his shoulder.
    And Olivia must have come home and found us together. My cheeks heat suddenly, but she’s already getting up, calling softly over her shoulder, “There are doughnuts in the kitchen. But you’ll have to fight me for the last chocolate one.”
    When it comes to cool, Olivia definitely takes the gold. By the time I finally make my way into the kitchen, my hair sort of tamed and my teeth brushed, she has a huge mug of coffee poured for me and the doughnuts arranged on a plate. I pull out the stool at the breakfast bar and climb onto it, not sure what to say.
    She takes care of that, too, though. “So,” she says, topping off her coffee before leaning on the counter across from me. “How are you holding up?”
    I blow across my mug and shrug. “Not at complete meltdown yet? But pretty close.”
    “I figured.” She takes a deep breath and straightens up. “Gabriel told me most of it, and I sort of filled in the rest. Was he your first?”
    I blink at her. “My … first?”
    “Love,” she says, and her smile is a little sad. “Danny, I mean.”
    Oh. I nod, and stare into my cup again, hoping the color on my cheeks isn’t too obvious.
    “It’s a big deal. Don’t let anyone tell you different. Not that … well, you know.”
    I meet her eyes again. “I do know. Now, anyway. I just … I didn’t even feel like I could breathe without him. I know that’s stupid.”
    “It’s not stupid at all.” She swallows the last of her coffee and sets down her mug, tilting her head before she speaks again. “Most people would want exactly what you wanted in the same situation, and most people wouldn’t understand that it could never work, either. It’s just that most of us can’t do what you can.”
    “I know.”
    “I don’t want to go all Spiderman here, but ‘with great power comes great responsibility.’” Her grin is a bright flash in the dull gray light of the morning. “I think I might know how to help, though.”
    “No way,” Gabriel says, and I bristle, straightening my spine to reach my full height. I really wish my full height wasn’t so pathetic, though.
    “Who says you get a vote?”
    “Come on, Olivia, you can’t think this is a good idea.” Gabriel turns to her, arms folded across his chest. He looks like a stubborn little kid with the crease mark from the couch cushion still striping one cheek and his shirt buttoned wrong.
    “It was my idea,” she says mildly, “so I’m pretty okay with it, actually.”
    “Olivia!”
    “Enough, Gabriel,” I snap. His mouth falls open, but I keep going. “I have to take care of this. You get that, right? And I don’t have forever, not after yesterday. So we’re going. And we’ll see you when we get back and we haven’t been killed by Danny eating our brains or