Cold Kiss

say, but it’s a hoarse whisper. Sometime later, I’m going to look into having my tear ducts removed. I haven’t cried this often ever, and I hate how weak and helpless it makes me feel. Having power explode out of me is bad enough, I don’t need to be leaking tears every minute.
    “I’d like to take you home when we’re done here,” Mari says. It sounds like a suggestion, but I know it isn’t.
    “What did Mom tell you?” I pick up my mug and blow across the top, just so I won’t have to look at Mari’s face.
    “I’m more interested in what you want to tell me, to be honest.”
    That’s a great big nothing, but there’s no way I’m going to get away with that. I gulp at my coffee, which is still a little too hot, and splutter a little. “It’s nothing,” I finally manage. “I mean, okay, it’s not nothing, but I’m handling it. And like I told Mom, I’m not on drugs, and I’m not pregnant, and I’m not wanted by the police, so…”
    “Good to know.” There’s that dry tone again, paired this time with a raised eyebrow. “Come on, Wren, this is me. What’s going on?”
    I hate that I can’t tell her anything. But I can’t bear the look I know I’ll see on her face if I admit what I’ve done. As far as Mom’s turned from her own power, Mari equally celebrates hers. But she’s never used it lightly, and there’s no way she would understand that I used mine to bring someone back from the dead, even Danny.
    “I went a little crazy,” I venture, glancing toward the counter in case Trevor is listening in, which he loves to do when he’s frustrated and can’t come up with the right sentence. “After Danny, I mean. And … I met a new guy. So that’s been a little … strange.”
    It’s nowhere near the whole truth, but it’s part of it. Admitting that Gabriel figures into the last couple of days is even harder than I expected. It still feels like a betrayal.
    Naturally, Trevor caught that juicy tidbit, and he looks as pleased as Mari looks wistful.
    “Oh, sweetie.” She reaches for my hand again and squeezes my fingers gently. “That has to be hard. But no matter how much you loved Danny, life doesn’t stop at seventeen. And you deserve another chance at finding someone. More than one, I bet.”
    I knew that admitting I liked another boy would seem to explain everything, and part of me hates to use Gabriel that way. But I can’t tell Mari the whole truth. It’s selfish, I know, but if I’m going to fix it, I don’t want them ever to know how bad I messed up.
    They all know that I am the girl who touches the hot stove and drops the eggs. They don’t need to know that I’m also the girl who thought love came with ownership papers, who decided to try to cheat death so her own life wouldn’t feel so empty, no matter what it would do to the boy she loved.
    Mari’s waiting for me to agree, I can tell, so I nod. I’m beginning to feel numb, but the day’s not even close to over. I sip my coffee slowly. The longer it takes to drink, the longer it will be before Mari drives me home, and that’s some comfort, anyway. She’s been understanding, but I doubt Mom is going to be.
    “Trevor, you got any of Geoff’s iced maple cookies left over there?” Mari calls.
    “Could be,” he says, and shrugs. He likes to give her a hard time, because he likes to give everyone a hard time, but I think she also fascinates him. She’s been coming into the café longer than I have—she’s actually the one who introduced me to it. She’s been a preschool teacher for years, but she’s always doing something else on the side—making jewelry one day, singing in a band another, once even appearing in an indie horror movie shot in the city. I think he’s jealous of how fully she lives her life, and I don’t really blame him.
    “Wrap up a dozen, if you can find them, that is.” She winks at me when he groans and gets off his stool. “I think we might need some sugary goodness later.”
    If you ask me, it’s a little like frosting a cake made out of sewage and old socks, but I’m not arguing. When I face Mom, I’m going to be grateful for any help I can get.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

    ROBIN MUST HEAR THE CAR PULL INTO THE driveway, because she bursts out the front door and is running down the porch steps before I can even get out.
    I stagger backward when she attack-hugs, her sturdy arms wrapped so tightly around me, I can hardly breathe.
    “Don’t ever, ever do that again.” Her