Covet (Clann)

for screwing up even when I tried my hardest not to. For not being able to foresee the future and the consequences of every action I took.
    I set the song to loop, then walked over to the vanity, my footsteps instinctively matching the beat. Leaning over, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. The outside seemed so perfect, made flawless by the vamp genes. But the inside was full of flaws.
    “I forgive you,” I whispered, smiling because it felt a little silly.
    I forgive you , I told myself again, silently this time.
    The smile went away. This was starting to feel not so easy now.
    I tried it again. I forgive you, Savannah Colbert. I forgive you for not being perfect. For being only half a vampire and half a witch and probably a horrible failure at both. And for having to drink human blood once a week.
    I hesitated then dived into the toughest part, determined to finish it. Staring into my reflection’s eyes, I thought, I forgive you for falling in love with Tristan, and for dating him in spite of the rules. And most of all, I forgive you for causing your grandma’s death and for taking away your mother’s mother before any of us were ready.
    Now the tears came, rushing over onto my cheeks. But this time it was okay, and I didn’t curse myself for being weak and crying. Because I forgave myself for that, too.
    I’m not perfect. And I don’t have to be. I can figure it out as I go, and as long as I do the best I can, it’s okay if I still screw up.
    Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. I felt…lighter. Better. Like maybe, just maybe, some of the guilt weighing me down was gone.
    I gave in to the urge to sway with the music, letting it wash over and through me.
    Then, for the first time in months, I truly danced again.

CHAPTER 35
    TRISTAN
    It had been the week from hell. Mom had self-medicated through the weekend, but on Monday she came back to life with a vengeance. Every time I walked into the kitchen past Dad’s open office door, there she was in Dad’s chair behind his desk on his phone with the descendants, destroying all of Dad’s and Grandpa’s hard work on the peace treaty.
    Not that she saw it that way.
    “Listen, Beth, you’ve got it all wrong,” she snapped, her voice carrying down the hall to where I was digging through the fridge for a snack. “The vamps absolutely can not be trusted, and Tristan knows it better than anyone else. He’s anything but a vamp lover! He made the mistake of falling for that little vamp’s innocent façade, only to be tricked into being kidnapped by her and her father then drugged and carted off to the vamp council like some kind of trophy, where they tortured him and tried to get him to spill everything he knew about us. But Tristan is a Coleman, and four generations of Colemans haven’t led our people for nothing. He was strong, just like his father. He withstood everything they put him through, and then some. My son has been to war, he’s been in the trenches as deep behind enemy lines as you can get, and he survived. If that alone doesn’t make him worthy to be our next leader, I don’t know what does!”
    A long pause before she replied, “So I can count on your family’s vote for Tristan this Saturday? Excellent! I look forward to seeing you and John then.”
    I walked down the hallway, coming to a stop in the office doorway as she hung up the phone and made a note in the Clann address book.
    She glanced up with a tight smile. “Got another family’s vote for you. Honestly, son, I think we just might have this in the bag.”
    Yeah, but at what cost? “You know, the peace treaty was really important to Dad. It took both Grandpa and Dad’s entire lives to get it instated and keep it going.”
    Her eyes narrowed. “Yes, well, your grandpa was delusional, and your father led a sheltered life. Sam had no clue what the vamps are really like, nor did he want to see the truth. I tried to tell him. Now look what his naive optimism has gotten him. But don’t you worry, son. I will see to it that his murder is avenged. Starting with securing your leadership. Then we’ll turn our sights toward making every last vamp pay.”
    I opened my mouth to tell her I had no intention of ever becoming a vamp hater like her. But then I shut my mouth and walked away. What would be the point of arguing with her now? She had just lost the love of her life. There would be no reasoning with her for a while. And who knows? Maybe if I had seen