Covet (Clann)

I’d forgotten to keep my energy under control.
    Sorry, I thought, pulling the energy level back down.
    “It’s okay,” she replied, then froze, her eyes wide.
    “What’s okay?” the teacher asked from her desk two yards away.
    “Oh. I, um…” Savannah began.
    “I was apologizing to her for forgetting our study session,” Ron said.
    Which was total bull. Savannah hadn’t even been looking at him.
    Ron was covering for her. But why?
    She had been going to the library with him during lunch a lot lately. To study together?
    Why not study together in the cafeteria instead where everyone could see them?
    Ron went out with Anne last year. Maybe Sav was dating him now and trying to hide it from Anne?
    No, Savannah wouldn’t do that. She would never hurt her best friend by sneaking around with Anne’s ex.
    Then again, Savannah had spent months secretly dating me last year. Maybe she’d grown to like that kind of thing.
    When the lunch bell rang, I took my time grabbing my stuff so Ron and Savannah could leave first. Then I followed them into the main hall. I stopped by my locker, pretending to need to switch out books while watching them walk together down the hall. Ron must have said something funny, because Savannah laughed. She bumped shoulders with him. Then he stopped and opened the library door, holding it so she could go in first.
    I stood there, frozen, while the only girl I’d ever loved disappeared into the library for a lunchtime date with someone else. But this time, watching her with another guy was way worse than when she’d dated Greg the soccer jerk. Because this time, I knew what it felt like to hold her, kiss her, see her blush and know I’d caused it. This time, her being with someone else meant I’d truly lost her.
    Savannah had moved on.
    * * *
    That afternoon at football practice, I watched Ron. The guy actually had the nerve to nod hello at me as we headed out to the back practice field.
    I didn’t nod back.
    Ron was a running back, and I was an offensive lineman. Technically my job was to help him catch or carry the ball for a touchdown. I’d worked my butt off for months to earn my spot back on the team after missing half of last year.
    But even the risk of ticking off the coach couldn’t help me resist the urge to miss a few key blocks that were supposed to clear Ron’s path. As a result, Ron got creamed several times. After the fourth time, Ron finally got a clue.
    “What’s the deal, man?” he growled as he yanked chunks of grass and mud from his face mask.
    “Whoops. I just keep on forgetting that darn play. Is it sweep right, or sweep left?” I said with the fakest smile I could manage.
    He stared at me for a few seconds then stomped off.
    When practice ended, he didn’t nod goodbye as we headed out the field house exit at the same time.
    I was so focused on resisting the urge to magically smack him in the back that I nearly ran over Bethany waiting outside the door.
    “Oh. Hey.” Confused, I stared down at her. Had we agreed to meet up and I’d forgotten? It wouldn’t be the first time I’d told her something then spaced out on it later. Why she never got angry was beyond me.
    “Hi.” Smiling, she tucked her hair behind her ear. “Um, I’m sorry to have to ask, but could you give me a ride home? My car won’t start.”
    “Yeah, sure.” A ride home was the least I could do for her after she’d helped me so much all summer, first in bringing my homework to me and prepping me for last year’s final exams while I was in the hospital after my wreck, and then taking me to physical training sessions for weeks afterward. I couldn’t even count the hours she’d spent cheering me through the sometimes painful recovery.
    “Thanks.” Her smile turned from embarrassed and hesitant to grateful.
    We walked together through the coaches’ lot to the parking lot by the sports and arts building where I’d started parking lately.
    “Everyone else gone for the day already?” I asked just for something to say. Bethany never seemed to mind the frequent bouts of silence between us, but I did. Savannah and I had never had a problem finding stuff to talk about. The silences with Bethany were my fault. I didn’t pay close enough attention to think up stuff to say.
    “Yeah. Savannah’s still here somewhere, though. I was going to try and find her if you were gone already.”
    My feet slowed like they had a mind of their own. I glanced toward the front parking lot