Cut and Run 4 - Divide and Conquer

widened as his unfocused gaze shifted in Ty‟s
    direction. “What?”
    “I told them,” Ty said in the same shocked voice as he looked up
    at Zane. “About us. There was this pretty little waitress and….” He
    shook his head and looked off to the side, as if trying to figure out how
    it had happened. “I told them I wasn‟t interested,” he tried to explain
    before putting the cigar to his lips again. He looked down, embarrassed
    to have to say it again. “They called me on it, and I told them I was in
    love.”
    Zane shifted uncomfortably as he slid his hands into his pockets.
    He didn‟t have a jacket on, just a thin, long-sleeved Henley. “How‟d
    they take it?”
    Ty shook his head, looking at the cigar with a heavy feeling that
    settled deep in his chest. He couldn‟t shake the memory of the look of
    disgust and anger on Owen‟s face.
    “Owen stormed out of the bar,” he answered in a hoarse voice,
    pushing those feelings away for another day. “Apparently being gay
    makes you incapable of having someone‟s back in a fight,” he said
    bitterly. Zane‟s shoulders stiffened, and he frowned deeply, his lips
    pressing together hard. Ty nodded, flushing and looking away from
    Zane again. “The others took it pretty well,” he went on, swallowing
    heavily. “Kelly was… very interested in the logistics of it all.”
    He took another long drag. He didn‟t plan on telling Zane what
    the other men thought of him. He knew Zane hadn‟t been in top form
    Divide & Conquer | 223

    when they‟d met him. He knew that wasn‟t the real Zane they‟d seen,
    the Zane that Ty loved.
    He closed his eyes, heat coursing through him once more as he
    remembered the way Nick‟s lips had felt against his. The embrace had
    felt right, in a way, at the same time as it felt so very wrong to be
    kissing anyone but Zane.
    But two years ago, if Nick had kissed him like that….
    Ty shook his head to push away that line of thought. He could
    torture himself endlessly with uncertainties and questions. Should he
    tell Zane what had happened? Would it sound like a threat? Would it
    seem like Ty was giving him an ultimatum? Tell me you love me, too,
    or I’m leaving ?
    Ty didn‟t want that, and he would never do that. But not telling
    Zane about the kiss felt just as wrong. It felt like… cheating.
    “Nick kissed me,” he blurted to Zane as he looked up at him.
    Zane froze utterly, like he did when he was very upset… or very
    angry. Then he tipped his head just a bit, the motion indicating he
    wanted Ty to keep talking.
    Ty shook his head, still in slight disbelief over the tale he was
    relating. He was sure he wouldn‟t have been able to do it if Zane could
    actually see him. “We were walking home because he was sort of… I
    thought he was drunk, but….” He trailed off and shook his head again,
    unable to meet Zane‟s sightless eyes as his cheeks flushed. “One
    minute he was ranting about risking your life for your country and
    being able to tell your friends the truth, and the next he was looking at
    me… and he kissed me,” he rambled helplessly, telling the story with a
    variety of hand motions and numb, helpless looks up at Zane.
    “And then?” Zane asked softly.
    Ty stared at Zane‟s blank face, wondering at the emotionless
    reaction. It was like he was just relating another night on the town to
    his partner, instead of telling his lover about a kiss shared with
    someone else. He knew closing off like this was how Zane reacted to
    being devastated, but it still hurt Ty deeply. Why did Zane still have to
    hide from him?
    224 | Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux

    It took him a long, painful moment to push the twisting sensation
    in his gut back down.
    Somewhere out there Nick O‟Flaherty was lying in a hotel bed
    alone, wondering if he‟d done the right thing, hoping Ty would call
    him, hoping Ty wouldn’t call him, thinking about what might have
    happened if they‟d just told each other the truth eight years ago when
    they‟d been discharged. Somewhere out there was a man Ty didn‟t
    have to put up a front of strength for. Someone he didn‟t have to fight
    with day in and day out. Someone he‟d always liked and respected.
    Someone he didn‟t love but could surely fuck until sunup every night
    and no doubt be happy and angst-free with for the rest of his life. Nick
    and Zane were as different as the sun and the moon.
    Ty put the cigar to his lips and inhaled slowly, his eyes