Cutler 01 - Dawn

unhappiness ganged up on me. I cried hysterically, my shoulders heaving, my chest aching. The dark, damp room closed in on me as I bawled. All our lives we were trapped in small, run-down places. I didn't blame Jimmy for fleeing from this one. I made up my mind I wouldn't come here again.
    Finally, exhausted from crying, I stood up and wiped my tear-streaked cheeks with the back of my hands, which were dusty and dirty from all the cleaning I had done. Head bowed, I started for the door, but just before I reached it, Jimmy came in.
    "Jimmy! Where were you? I thought you had run off for Georgia without saying good-bye!" I cried.
    "Dawn, you should have known I wouldn't do that to you."
    "Well, where were you? You could have been seen and . . ." There was a strange look in his eyes. "What happened?"
    "Actually, I was running away," he said, lowering his head with a look of embarrassment. "I was running away from Clara Sue."
    "What?" I followed him to the bunk bed. "What did she do? What happened?"
    "She came down with some lunch for me and stayed while I ate, talking nonsense to me about Louise and the other girls and asking me all sorts of nasty questions about you and me and how we lived together. I got angrier and angrier, but I kept my temper down because I didn't want her to make any more trouble for you.
    "Then . . ." He shifted his eyes from me and sat down.
    "What then?" I asked sitting beside him.
    "She got cute."
    "What do you mean, Jimmy?" My heart started to race.
    "She wanted me to . . . kiss her and stuff. I finally told her I had to get out for a while and ran out. I hid out by the baseball field until I was sure she would he gone and then I snuck back. Don't worry. No one saw me or paid any attention to me."
    "Oh, Jimmy."
    "It's all right," hit said, "but I think I'd better go before she does make things worse."
    I looked down, my tears building again.
    "Hey," he said, reaching out to lift my chin. “I don't remember you ever being this unhappy."
    "I can't help it, Jimmy. After you go, I’m going to feel so terrible. When I first came in here and I thought you had left―"
    "I can see." He laughed and got up to go into the bathroom. He ran the water over a washcloth and returned to clean my cheeks. I smiled at him and he leaned forward to plant a soft kiss on my lips. “All right," he said, "I'll stay one more night and leave sometime tomorrow."
    “I’m glad Jimmy. I’ll sneak back and eat dinner with you," I said excitedly, "and later I'll come and . . . stay with you all night. No one will know,” I quickly added when he took on a look of worry„
    He nodded.
    "Be careful. I feel like I'm making so much trouble for you, and you’ve got more than your share because of us Longchamps."
    "Don't ever say that, Jimmy. I know I'm supposed to be happier here because I'm a Cutler and my family's well off, but I'm not and I’ll never stop loving you and Fern. Never. I don't care. I’ll never stop," I insisted. Jimmy had to laugh.
    "All right," he said. "Don't stop."
    "I'm going to go get washed and changed and show my face about the hotel, so no one suspects anything," I said. "I'll eat with the staff, but I won't eat much. I'll save my appetite to eat with you." I stood up and looked down at him. "Are you going to be all right?"
    "Me? Sure. It gets a little stuffy in here, but keep that door partly open. And later, after it gets good and dark, I might sneak over to that big pool and jump in."
    "I'll jump in with you," I said. I headed for the door and turned back just as I reached it. "I'm glad you came, Jimmy, so glad."
    He beamed the widest, brightest smile at me, which wiped away all the frustration and fatigue I had to suffer to keep him here. Then I hurried out and away, cheered by the promise of once again spending a night with Jimmy. But as soon as I entered the old section of the hotel, I heard my grandmother and Mrs. Boston talking in the corridor. They had just come down from upstairs where they had inspected Clara Sue's room. I stood just outside the doorway and waited until I saw Grandmother walk by, her face so firm, it looked like a chiseled bust of her. How straight she stood, I thought, her posture so perfect when she walked. She radiated so much confidence and authority, I was sure not even a fly would cross her path.
    As soon as she passed, I reentered and started down the corridor, but just as I went by the sitting room, Mrs. Boston stuck her head out and called to me.
    "Now, you