Cutler 03 - Twilight's Child

this place into what it is today, and if you don't change anything, then it will change you," he said prophetically.
    "We'll see," I said. Was Philip right? Was I still in a struggle with Grandmother Cutler, even after her death? He smiled.
    "All right. I'll go see my father and see what I can do about him. May I join you and Jimmy at dinner tonight? I'm going back to college tomorrow, and I won't have all that much time to visit with you two before the wedding," he explained.
    "Yes, you can join us," I said.
    "Thanks." He started out. "Oh," he said. "I forgot to tell you. I've met someone at college. Her name's Betty Ann Monroe. We've sort of become an item on campus, if you know what I mean. I'm giving her my fraternity pin this week, and in college that's equivalent to becoming engaged."
    "Congratulations."
    "I think you'll like her very much. She's bright and very sensitive."
    "I'm happy for you, Philip. I look forward to meeting her someday," I said. I was really very happy to hear that he had developed a love interest in someone else. It fueled my hope that he was really changing. Perhaps what he had suggested —normal family relationships—wasn't so out of reach after all.
    "Thank you." He stepped closer to me. "Dawn, I . . . well, I hope that what happened between us can somehow be buried and . . ."
    "I'll never tell anyone, Philip, if that's what you mean," I said. It was. He immediately looked relieved. "I'm too ashamed of it myself," I added, wiping the smile of his face.
    "Yes, well, I'd better go see about my father. I'll see you at dinner," he added, and he left quickly.
    When Jimmy came up a little while later I told him what Philip had requested. I had never told Jimmy about Philip raping me. At the time, I was afraid to tell him what Philip had done, and as time passed I'd pressed the memory of Philip's attack on me in the shower deeper and deeper into my memory, where I hoped to keep it buried forever.
    "Best man, huh? Well, that's considerate of him. I guess it's okay. As long as it's okay with you," he added, looking at me slyly. Did he know anything? Had he sensed it somehow? Of course, he remembered when Philip had been my boyfriend at Emerson Peabody, but that was before Philip and I had discovered we were related.
    "It's your best man, Jimmy. It has to be your decision," I replied, shifting my eyes down quickly.
    "He still has a crush on you, doesn't he, Dawn?" Jimmy asked perceptively.
    "I don't think so, Jimmy," I said, and I told him about Betty Ann Monroe.
    "Um," Jimmy said, thinking. "We'll see. I guess for now it's all right for him and me to be friends. After all, he's my future brother-in-law, and the future's coming up real fast." Jimmy kissed me and started for the shower.
    "Oh," he said. "Something peculiar. Randolph came to the workshop just before and asked me about our inventory of screws and nails. I think he's fixing to count them out one at a time. Can you imagine?"
    I told Jimmy what had happened between Randolph and me and my conversation with my mother about it.
    "Well, someone better do something about him soon," he said. "It's very sad."
    Jimmy had more compassion and concern for Randolph than his own son and wife did, I thought. That was what was sad.
    While Jimmy was showering the phone rang. It was Trisha. She was all excited about my wedding and had loads of gossip to tell me about the other students at the Sarah Bernhardt School, as well as about Agnes Morris, our resident mother.
    "Nothing's really changed with Agnes," she said. "She's more dramatic than ever and wears cakes and cakes of makeup. Oh, Mrs. Liddy asked after you and was happy to hear the good news. She sends her best," Trisha said.
    "Mrs. Liddy. I do miss her. She was so nice to me. Perhaps one day I'll invite her to spend a weekend at Cutler's Cove," I said. "Oh, Trish, I'm looking forward so much to finally seeing you again."
    "Same here." There was a pause in our conversation, a short, heavy silence. I knew she had something to tell me. "There was some news about Michael Sutton," she confessed, "but I wasn't sure you wanted to hear it."
    "I don't mind," I said quickly. "What is it?"
    "Oh, there's always a bunch of gossip in the trade papers about his romances, but he's landed a starring role in a new musical opening in London, and the preview reports have been quite laudatory."
    "I'm happy for him," I said quickly.
    "I think he's horrible for what he did to you," Trisha snapped.
    "I don't want to