Cutler 05 - Darkest Hour

Henry. Is it a boy or a girl kitten?" I asked, taking it into my lap.
    "Girl," Henry said. "Her mamma's finished taking care of her. She's an orphan now."
    She peered up at me with frightened eyes until I hugged and petted her.
    "What should I call her?"
    "Call her Cotton," he suggested. "She sure looks like cotton when she sleeps and buries her head in her paws."
    Henry was right. The rest of the way home, Cotton slept in my lap.
    "You can't bring it into the house," Emily said as we turned up the driveway. "Papa won't want any animals in the house."
    "We'll find a place for her in the barn," Henry promised, but when we reached the house, Mamma was standing on the front porch to see how I was and I couldn't wait to show her my kitten.
    "I'm fine, Mamma. I'm not tired or anything, and look," I said, holding up Cotton, "Henry's given me a present. It's a girl kitten and we've named her Cotton."
    "Oh, she's so tiny," Mamma said. "How adorable."
    "Mamma," I said, lowering my voice, "could I keep Cotton in my room? Please. I won't let her go out of my room. I'll feed her there, keep her clean and—"
    "Oh, I don't know, honey. The Captain won't even tolerate the hound dogs on this porch."
    I lowered my eyes sadly. How could anyone not want something as precious and soft as Cotton in his house?
    "She's just a baby, Mamma," I pleaded. "Henry says her mother doesn't look after her anymore, either. Now she's an orphan," I added. Mamma's eyes grew small and sad.
    "Well . . ." she said, "you've had a miserable time this past week. Maybe, for just a little while."
    "She can't!" Emily protested. She had hung back just waiting to see what Mamma would do. "Papa won't like it."
    "I'll talk to your father about it, don't worry, girls."
    "I don't want that kitten in the house," Emily said angrily. "It's not mine; it's hers. He gave it just to her," she fired, and charged through the front door.
    "Don't even let that kitten peek out your door," Mamma warned.
    "Can I show her to Eugenia, Mamma? Can I?"
    "Yes, but then bring her to your room."
    "I'll bring you a box and some sand," Henry said.
    "Thank you, Henry," Mamma said, and turned to me, waving her finger. "But you'll have to be in charge of keeping the sand clean," she advised.
    "I will, Mamma. I promise."
    Eugenia brightened with excitement when I brought Cotton in to her. I sat on her bed and told her all about school, the lesson in reading Miss Walker had given me, and the sounds I was already able to read and pronounce. While I went on and on about my day, Eugenia played with Cotton, teasing her with string and then tickling her stomach. When I saw how much pleasure my little sister was getting, I wondered why Mamma and Papa never thought to give her a pet of her own.
    Suddenly, Eugenia started to sneeze and wheeze the way she often did just before she had one of her seizures. Frightened, I called for Mamma, who rushed in with Louella at her side. I took Cotton in my arms while Mamma and Louella worked on Eugenia. The result was Doctor Cory had to be called for her.
    When the doctor left, Mamma came to my room. I was sitting in the corner with Cotton, still terrified from what had happened. It appeared to reinforce Emily's accusations: I was bringing bad luck to everyone.
    "I'm sorry, Mamma," I said quickly. She smiled at me.
    "It wasn't your fault, Lillian honey, but Doctor Cory thinks Eugenia might be allergic to cats and that just makes her problems worse. I'm afraid you can't keep the kitten in the house after all. Henry will find a nice little home for her in the barn and you can visit her there whenever you want."
    I nodded.
    "He's waiting outside. You can bring her down to him now and put her in her new home, okay?"
    "Okay, Mamma," I said, and went out. Henry and I set up Cotton's box in a corner near the first cow stall. In the days that followed, I would bring Cotton to Eugenia's window so she could see her. She would press her little face up against her window and smile at my kitten. It made me feel horrible that she couldn't touch Cotton. No matter what unfair things happened to me, none of them seemed as terrible as the unfair things that were happening to my little sister.
    Even if there were such things as good luck and bad luck, I thought, why would God use me to punish a little girl as sweet as Eugenia? Emily couldn't be right; she just couldn't, I thought. It was the way I began my nightly prayers.
    "Dear Lord. Please make my sister Emily wrong.