Days of Love and Blood

don’t really believe it. It was probably an afterthought or a dream incorporated into the memory of the accident, or maybe people say it to sound either more human or more theatrical. Nothing of the sort happened for me and I couldn’t see it happening for anyone. There isn’t enough time.
    The truck was far enough away, on the other side of the highway going in the opposite direction. I saw him jackknife and start to slide. When the truck slid into the median and flipped, time sped up. I calculated the direction of the slide and I knew we would meet. Our paths were going to cross but all I could do was watch. There wasn’t even enough time to turn the wheel.
    Metal hit metal, glass shattered, t he sky above me was now below and for a brief instant I felt weightlessness. My body went limp and I gave in to chance, letting my limbs and body fly in the direction they were meant do. There was no pain and when my body stopped moving, I was peaceful.
    Ritchie’s voice carried me back from where I was and I felt his hand in mine. He whispered in my ear and kissed my forehead. He asked me to come back to him and so I did.

    Cooper was able to convince Solomon and Brigham to take a small search party out for observation purposes only. I stayed behind and helped dig a gravesite for Grisham. We buried him out by the tower and said goodbye to him that evening.
    The rest of us worked continuously to drag the homicidal corpses out into the field across the road. The mood was somber. Hardly anyone spoke. I stayed with Ronan at Ivy’s house and we cleared bodies well into the next day. Cooper, Johnson and Tasha still had not returned by the evening.
    I was mad at Ben but I couldn’t hate him. If he could barely defend himself, I couldn’t expect him to take care of a child. No one could have predicted the attack on the farm and it was my fault for letting Ronan venture so far away from the house with someone like Ben. I’m the one who put him in danger, not Ben. Still, I avoided him and he avoided me by staying locked up in one of Ivy’s bedrooms, refusing to come out. He had been humiliated and shunned by most everyone. I couldn’t guess what else he felt. I didn’t know him well enough.
    At dinner, Solomon voiced his concern that the trackers were not back yet.
    “I don’t know anything about tracking,” I said, “but I’m sure they’re on foot part of the ways. It will probably take longer than a normal raid.”
    “Are n’t you concerned?” he asked. “They were only supposed to go see what these guys were up to, nothing more. Then report right back.”
    “Of course I’m concerned. If they’re not back by tomorrow night, I’ll go looking for them.”
    “I’ll go with you,” said Solomon.
    “Good. Thank you.”
    Cassie decided to stay with Johnson at the farm and I took Ronan home that evening. After two long baths, one for each of us, I had him sleep with me in my room. He kept asking for Cooper. He wanted Cooper to be back. He wanted to feel that comfort, that safety. I completely understood what he needed after being abandoned by Ben. I wanted the same thing.
    He asked me why Ben left him. He asked me over and over again, wailing in between his confusion. I will never know what that did to him. I will never know how that betrayal must have fel t to someone so young. For a moment, Ronan had looked up to Ben. But only for a moment. My son learned disappointment the hard way and the brutal truth that not everyone will be there for you even if given the choice. His heart was broken but being saved by Cooper had its redeeming qualities. There was still someone he could trust. All was not lost.
    I was exhausted and fell asleep quickly with my son’s head resting on my chest.
    I woke up hours later when I heard the front door unlock. Relief and anticipation washed over me when I realized Cooper was back. I wriggled out of bed, grabbed my robe and silently opened the door to the landing.
    “Cooper?” I whispered.
    I stepped down the stairs and turned into the foyer. The front door was slightly ajar. No lights were on.
    “Cooper?” I called. I opened the front door and flipped on the outside lights. No one was there. I shut the door and locked it but before I could turn around a hand clamped over my mouth and an arm grabbed me firmly around the waist, pinning my arms to my sides. I jumped with both feet and planted them against the door and in my next motion, pushed away. My attacker stumbled