Dead Tomorrow

yesterday.’
    Lynn glanced anxiously at her daughter, signalling with her eyes not to probe further.
    ‘Where was she killed?’ Caitlin asked, ignoring her mother. Her voice suddenly sounded stronger.
    ‘In Romania–outside a town called Brasov.’
    ‘Tell me more about her, please,’ Caitlin said.
    This time, Marlene Hartmann shrugged defensively. ‘I’m afraid I have to protect donor confidentiality. I cannot give you any more information. Afterwards, you may write, through me, to thank her family, if you wish. I would encourage this.’
    ‘So it’s not true what the police—’
    ‘Darling!’ Lynn interrupted hastily, sensing what was coming. ‘Frau Hartmann is right.’
    Caitlin was silent for some moments, looking around, her eyes searching as if they were having difficulty focusing. Then, speaking weakly, she said, ‘If–if I’m going to agree to have this liver, I need to know the truth.’
    Lynn looked at her, bewildered.
    Suddenly, the door opened and the nurse called Draguta came back in.
    ‘We are ready.’
    ‘Please, Caitlin, you go now,’ the broker said. ‘Your mother and I have business to conclude. Shewill be with you in a few minutes.’
    ‘So the photograph the police brought round–that’s not true?’ Caitlin persisted.
    ‘Darling! Angel!’ Lynn implored.
    Marlene Hartmann looked at them both stonily. ‘Photograph?’
    ‘It was a lie!’ Lynn blurted, close to tears. ‘It was a lie!’
    ‘What photograph is this, Caitlin?’ the broker asked.
    ‘They said she was not dead. That she was going to be killed for me.’
    Marlene Hartmann shook her head. Her lips formed into a rigid, humourless line and there was astonishment in her eyes.
    Very gently, she said, ‘Caitlin, this is not how I do business. Please believe me.’ She smiled warmly. ‘I don’t think your English police are happy with anyone doing something to–how do you say it?– buck their system. They would rather people died than obtain an organ by paying for it. You have to trust me on this.’
    Behind them, the nurse said, ‘Now you come, please.’
    Lynn kissed her daughter. ‘Go with her, darling. I’ll follow you in a few minutes. I just have to make the final payment. I’ll fax the bank while you’re getting ready.’
    She helped Caitlin to her feet.
    Swaying unsteadily, her eyes looking very unfocused, Caitlin turned to Marlene Hartmann.
    ‘Feist,’ she said. ‘You’ll ask the surgeon?’
    ‘Feist,’ the German woman said, with a broad smile.
    Then she took a step towards her mother, looking scared. ‘You won’t be long, Mum, will you?’
    ‘I’ll be as quick as I can, darling.’
    ‘I’m frightened,’ she whispered.
    ‘In a few days’ time you will not know yourself!’ the broker replied.
    The nurse escorted Caitlin from the room, closingthe door behind them. Instantly, Marlene Hartmann’s eyes narrowed into a glare of suspicion.
    ‘What is this photograph that your daughter is talking about?’
    Before Lynn could answer, the German woman’s attention was diverted by the sudden clatter of a helicopter, low overhead. She leapt up from her chair, ran across to the window and looked out.
    ‘ Scheisse !’ she said.

115
    Back in the tiled corridor, the nurseushered Caitlin into a tiny changing room with a row of metal lockers and a solitary hospital gown hanging on a peg.
    ‘You change,’ she said. ‘You put clothes in locker 14. I wait.’
    She closed the door.
    Caitlin stared at the lockers and swallowed, shaking. Number 14 had a key with a rubber wrist-band sticking out of the lock. It reminded her of public swimming baths.
    Swimming scared her. She did not like being out of her depth. She was out of her depth now.
    Feeling giddy, she sat down, harder than she had intended, on a wooden bench and scratched her stomach. She was feeling tired and lost and sick. She just wanted to stop feeling sick. To stop itching. To stop feeling scared.
    She had never felt so scared in her life.
    The room seemed to be pressing in on her. Squeezing her. Crushing her. Spinning her around with it. Thoughts came into her head, then went. She had to be quick, to try to grab them before they faded.
    Things were being hidden from her. By everyone. Even by her mother. What things? Why? What did everybody know that she did not know? What right did anyone have to keep secrets from her?
    She stood up and tugged off her duffel coat, then sat back down, hard, the room spinning even faster. Her