Deep Waters

more hot tea. "Don't be ridiculous." With a heroic effort she summoned a confident smile. "But I'm sure neither one of us wants to rush things. We'll take our time. Let the relationship develop naturally."
    "His eyes narrowed faintly. "I thought we agreed last night that there would be no more games."
    She felt the heat rise in her cheeks. "Letting a relationship mature and develop at its own pace is not considered game-playing. It's just common sense."
    "What's wrong, Charity?"
    "Nothing's wrong." She let the smile drop. "I'm just trying to sort things out, that's all."
    "What's to sort out?"
    Anger flared out of nowhere. "You have to ask me that?" She set the teacup down so hard that it threatened to crack. Otis grumbled at the noise. "You're the one who's been acting as if nothing out of the ordinary happened last night."
    He gazed at her for a long while. "About last night."
    She held up a hand. "Please. If this is the part where you tell me not to read too much into what happened between us last night, forget it. I'm trying to eat my breakfast. You can give me the lecture later."
    "No."
    "You want to go back to playing games, fine. Go play with yourself."
    "That idea lacks a certain appeal," he said dryly. "Especially after last night." She felt herself turn red. "You know what I mean."
    "Yes. But I don't think you understand what Fro trying to say here."
    "Hah. That's what you think. I understand exactly what you're trying to say." She tapped her spoon on the edge of the bowl. "You want to tell me that you weren't yourself last night, don't you? That I shouldn't assume too much because of what happened. That you're sorry we spent the night together."
    He hesitated. "You've got it half right. I wasn't in a good place last night."
    "Uh-huh." She stabbed her spoon into the muesli.
    "I wasn't expecting you to show up. I had a lot of thinking to do."
    "And I interrupted you?"
    "To be blunt, yes, you did. It would have been better if you had not come into the garden when you did."
    "Sorry about that." She spooned up a mouthful of muesli and chewed with a vengeance. "Won't happen again."
    He frowned. "You don't get it."
    "Sure, I do. I'm an ex-CEO, remember? I can boil down even the most complicated issues into simple concepts. Problem? You wish I hadn't shown up last night. Solution? Simple. We'll just pretend it never happened."
    "That's not going to be possible."
    She smiled grimly. "Watch me."
    "You're angry."
    She thought about it. "Yeah, you could say that."
    "Charity, I'm trying to get something clear between us."
    "Maybe it would be better if you just ate your breakfast instead."
    He ignored that. "What I'm trying to tell you is that I regret that you interrupted me while I was in the middle of a contemplation session last night. I was trying to sort out some things. I think that you might have drawn some false conclusions based on what happened after you showed up."
    She halted the spoon halfway to her mouth, as realization dawned. "Wait a second. I think I'm getting a glimmer here."
    "Let's just say that it would not be wise for you to assume that my actions last night indicated that I was—" He broke off, frowning.
    "Weak? Normal?" She paused delicately. "Human?"
    A dark flush stained his fierce cheekbones. "I don't want you to get the wrong impression, that's all."
    "Elias, think of this in terms of your water philosophy. You can't stay in the shallow end of the pool all of your life, thinking you'll be safe. Sometimes you just have to take a chance and jump in at the deep end."
    "That analogy is not an appropriate application of the philosophical principles of Tal Kek Chara," he said through his teeth. "The Way is a method of seeing clearly. A guide to observing reality."
    "But you're not an observer. You're a participant. At least you were last night."
    "You're missing the point here."
    She leveled her spoon at him. "Okay, enlighten me, oh, great Master of Tal Kek Chara. Take a look into your magic reflecting pool and tell me what you see happening between us right now at this very moment."
    "That's exactly what I'm trying to do," he said swiftly. "I don't want you to be under any misconceptions about me. I realize that my behavior last night may have given you the impression that I allowed Keyworth's attempt at suicide to get to me."
    "Didn't it?"
    "His attempt to take his own life was an unforeseen consequence of my actions." A harsh, bleak acceptance burned in Elias's eyes. "And I don't like it when