Definitely Dead

stared at the drawings of rudimentary people having picnics and fishing, and tears prickled my eyes. For the first time, I wished I were psychic instead of telepathic. Then I could envision what had happened to Cody, instead of having to wait for someone to think about it. I’d never met a real psychic, but I understood that it was a very uncertain talent to have, one that was not specific enough at times, and too specific at others. My little quirk was much more reliable, and I made myself believe I could help this child.
    As I made my way to the cafeteria, the smell of the school evoked a rush of memories. Most of them were painful; some were pleasant. When I’d been this small, I’d had no control over my telepathy and no idea what was wrong with me. My parents had put me through the mental health mill to try to find out, which had further set me off from my peers. But most of my teachers had been kind. They’d understood that I was doing my best to learn—that somehow I was constantly distracted, but it wasn’t through my own choice. Inhaling the scent of chalk, cleaner, paper, and books brought it all back.
    I remembered all the corridors and doorways as if I’d just left. The walls were a peach color now, instead of the off-white I remembered, and the carpet was a sort of speckled gray in place of brown linoleum; but the structure of the school was unchanged. Without hesitation, I slipped through a back door to the little stage, which was at one end of the lunchroom. If I remembered correctly, the space was actually called the “multipurpose room.” The serving area could be shut off with folding doors, and the picnic tables that lined the room could be folded and moved aside. Now they were taking up the floor in orderly rows, and the people sitting at them were all adults, with the exception of some teachers’ children who’d been in the classrooms with their mothers when the alarm had been raised.
    I found a tiny plastic chair and set it back behind the curtains on stage left. I closed my eyes and began to concentrate. I lost the awareness of my body as I shut out all stimuli and began to let my mind roam free.
    It’s my fault, my fault, my fault! Why didn’t I notice he hadn’t come back out? Or did he slip by me? Could he have gotten into a car without my noticing?
    Poor Halleigh. She was sitting by herself, and the mound of tissues by her showed how she’d been spending her waiting time. She was completely innocent of anything, so I resumed my probing.
    Oh my God, thank you God that it’s not my son that’s missing. . . .
    . . . go home and have some cookies . . .
    Can’t go to the store and pick up some hamburger meat, maybe I can call Ralph and he can go by Sonic . . . but we ate fast food last night, not good . . .
    His mom’s a barmaid, how many lowlifes does she know? Probably one of them.
    It went on and on, a litany of harmless thoughts. The children were thinking about snacks and television, and they were also scared. The adults, for the most part, were very frightened for their own children and worried about the effect of Cody’s disappearance on their own families and their own class.
    Andy Bellefleur said, “In just a minute Sheriff Dearborn will be in here, and then we’ll divide you into two groups.”
    The teachers relaxed. These were familiar instructions, as they themselves had often given.
    “We’ll ask questions of each of you in turn, and then you can go. I know you’re all worried, and we have patrol officers searching the area, but maybe we can get some information that will help us find Cody.”
    Mrs. Garfield came in. I could feel her anxiety preceding her like a dark cloud, full of thunder. Miss Maddy was right behind her. I could hear the wheels of her cart, loaded with its lined garbage can and laden with cleaning supplies. All the scents surrounding her were familiar. Of course, she started cleaning right after school. She would have been in one of the classrooms, and she probably hadn’t seen anything. Mrs. Garfield might have been in her office. The principal in my day, Mr. Heffernan, had stood outside with the teacher on duty until all the children were gone, so that parents would have a chance to talk to him if they had questions about their child’s progress . . . or lack thereof.
    I didn’t lean out from behind the dusty curtain to look, but I could follow the progress of the two easily. Mrs. Garfield was a ball of tension so dense it charged the