Delusion in Death

cost you to do that. I know you did it for me. You put me first. You put us first. I don’t forget it. I won’t ever forget it.”
    “And yet,” he said softly.
    “I can’t put me, or us, ahead of them, all those faces. I can’t, I just won’t, let what happened to me years ago determine how I do my job, for them. It’s already caused us both too much grief and pain. It has to stop. Maybe you’d have made a different call, but—”
    “Yes, because I think more of you than you do.”
    She couldn’t fight it, couldn’t find the fight, only the heart he filled with those simple words. “No one’s ever thought of me the way you do. I don’t forget that either. And I knew when I made the decision it would upset you. You have every right and reason to be upset. I’m sorry.”
    He set aside the coffee he didn’t want. “And yet,” he repeated.
    “Her name is Teasdale. Miyu Teasdale. She’s a domestic terrorist specialist, nine years in. She has advanced degrees in chemistry andbiology. She’ll be reporting only to Director Hurtz. Tibble knows him, personally, vouches for him. You look at them. Dig into them, use any means you want. I don’t need to know. After you do, if you find they aren’t as clean as Tibble and Whitney say, if you find anything that causes you to doubt I did the right thing, I’ll break it off. I’ll find a way.”
    “Oh, I’ll look. Believe me.”
    “I didn’t agree easily, and I wouldn’t have agreed except … a hundred and twenty-six dead.”
    “A hundred and twenty-seven. Another died in hospital shortly ago.” And because he saw that instant of sorrow on her face, he picked up the coffee, handed it to her.
    “I need help. Maybe she’ll just be deadweight, or worse an annoyance or distraction. But maybe she’ll make a difference. Or there’ll be more dead, Roarke, and we won’t have enough boards for their faces.”
    “If I look and find something, you’ll end the consultation?”
    “Yes. My word on it.”
    He nodded, then took time to think, to settle, by getting coffee for himself. “It doesn’t sit well, does it?”
    “No. But I’m afraid he’s just getting started, and she’ll have a fresh eye, a supposedly expert eye. And additional resources. Before you say it, I know I could ask you for anything and anyone. Someone equally qualified.”
    “Yes,” he agreed, “and that would sit better.”
    “Probably with both of us. But this agreement keeps HSO’s involvement minimal. It keeps me in charge. They could have moved in, tried to muscle away the whole shot. And while we were playing tug-of-war …” Her eyes went to the boards again.
    He said nothing for a moment, only drank some coffee. Thenfrowned at the mug. “Why won’t you stock your regular in this thing? It’s not as if you don’t have an unlimited supply of bloody coffee. Word is you married me for it.”
    And with that, she understood the crisis had been averted. “I don’t want to spoil my men.”
    “You’d rather burn all our stomach linings away.”
    “Cops’ guts are tougher than that.” She smiled. “Civilians’ may be more delicate.”
    He stepped to her, flicked a finger down the shallow dent in her chin. “Then you’ll perfectly understand why I’ve ordered food in for the briefing.”
    “You—”
    “Have you eaten since breakfast? I thought not,” he said when she only frowned at him. “I’ll drink your deplorable cop coffee, you’ll eat my food. And we’ll get on.”
    “We’ll get on if it’s pizza.”
    “I know my cop.”
    Yes, he did, she thought. “I talked to Mira.”
    He took her hand now, held it.
    “I don’t like the way you maneuvered me into it, even if you were right.”
    He laughed at that, kissed the hand he held. “I love you, Eve. Every contrary inch.”
    “I’m working it out, and I don’t want you to worry. I feel … lighter,” she decided. “I can’t talk about it now.”
    “No need. Feeling lighter is enough.”
    “I just want you to know, I’m getting a grip on it. I’ve got to put it away, get back to this.” She took a breath. “And I’m going to keep doing that. Putting it away, where it belongs, and getting on with who I am, what I am, what we are. You need to do the same.”

    “I’m with you, Lieutenant.”
    “Then I’ll bring Peabody back.” She reached for her comm just as the knock sounded on the door.
    “That’s probably the food. I’ll take care of it.” Roarke walked to the door.
    When it