Devils Roses 05 - Death

broken. Like my heart. We all feel sick for what we have done to her.
    He reaches a hand for her arm but she snarls and pulls away. She holds the dying man in her arms, like a child holding a doll. Her tragically beautiful face is much altered from the face I have grown to love.
    Oliver takes no nonsense off of her. He reaches in and grabs her thin arm. He shakes her free of the dying man in the suit. She is gone before the man in the suit hits the ground. I bend down next to him. I wrap my fingers around his bare wrist and let go of the control I hold so tightly.
    The cool air sparkles with life and light, his life and light. I gasp pulling him in. He fills the tiny void where my hunger sits. I haven’t eaten this much since Lydia found me and locked me in that room to eat. His life is separated from him and I let him fall back onto the cold wet concrete. He will be a tragedy of the city. I slip his watch from his other wrist and take his wallet from the rumpled pants that feel suddenly loose. His soul took up more space than he would have ever realized.
    I turn and look up into the night's sky. Atop the buildings I see their eyes, watching me. I can't stop my eyes from looking for his. His beautiful white blue eyes. He doesn’t smile or even try to. He knows about Dorian. He knows me better than anyone. He glares and then he's is gone.
    I watch as the other eyes vanish one at a time.
    The last face I see is Dorian's. He stands where Aleks had been. "It's done. Now you owe me and I will collect."
    I flinch. "Thanks."
    "He was a mess. Wandering the city in uniform. I took him home and told him to go have some fun, he needed it. I told him to take one of the girls he used to date and have a blast." He grins. "See you later." His voice is filled with promise. I shiver and wink. I try to ignore the regret that has me more full than my meal.
    Lydia's kitchen table feels small with the group that is there. Missing Sam and the kids has become a fulltime job.
    Our silence is heavy and painful in the house. It almost always means someone has died or lost control of what they are.
    " Where is she ?" Lorri storms into the room. Her blood red boots slap the floor.
    Lydia shakes her head. "You have no right to do that here, Lorri. You may not take her from my home."
    Lorri scowls. "Don’t tell me what I can and cannot do. This mess has to be cleaned up." Her harsh eyes land on mine. "You know the rules."
    I nod. I have no defense beyond my love of her.
    I have no defense beyond my blame in it all.
    Lorri's manicured finger is in my face suddenly. "You fix this. You have two weeks. Tristan and Ophelia and Giselle are all running out of time."
    She is gone.
    Lydia's eyes are on me. I can feel them.
    I glance back. "I'll go talk to her."
    Lydia shakes her head. "No. Leave her be. She needs to calm down. Annabelle will take care of…"
    I wink out before she finishes the sentence. I choose home instead of him.
    I wander town, looking in the windows of the houses. The lights inside show everything. The love and warmth they all have. The normalcy that exists in a place like this cuts me like a tiny knife. All I see is a place something like me won't ever be part of. I get lost in the clicking of my boots and when I look up I am in front of my house.
    I instantly feel like I did the first week I was changing. I could feel the changes but had nowhere to go. Everything has changed and I still feel like I have nowhere to go.
    I can see shadows moving around inside. My father and sister are there in the house.
    I walk up to the front lawn just as the door opens.
    I freeze.
    "Love you too, Daddy." Alise steps out of the door. A group of people follows her out of the house. The last person closes the door.
    "He seems better hey?" A voice cuts into me. I can't flash. I can't breathe. I am a lawn ornament.
    "Aims?" His voice still hurts me.
    I look at them walking down the stairs. Blake and Alise are hand in hand. Behind them walk Shane and Jessica Morgan, holding hands. She was his girlfriend before Alise and him dated. Before he and I dated. Before. She must be the girl he remembers dating that Dorian told him to go find to have fun with.
    I remember watching them together. I had always wished I were her. I wished I were popular Jessica Morgan, holding hands with Shane. Watching him play football. Before, when I thought he was the love of my life. Seeing him, I have to convince myself he isn’t.
    Now I am the only one who remembers we