Do You Remember the First Time?

bottles of cheap cider. Suddenly I felt a touch on my elbow. I turned round. It was Justin.
    ‘Thanks again for … in there,’ he said gruffly. ‘I thought he was going to have, like, hysterics or something.’
    ‘You sound like the general of the army,’ I said.
    ‘What?’
    ‘Nothing. You’ll grow out of it.’
    He looked at the ground. Then he looked at me, leaning on his arm against a tree. His big grey eyes were appealing to me. He smelled of youth; of cigarettes, cheap beer, cheap aftershave and woodsmoke. It went straight to my head. He blinked nervously.
    ‘Flo …’ he said. Then he leaned in, looking at me all the time, desperate not to misread the signals, constantly waiting for the confused messages, the outright no, the slap on the face. There was none. Very tentatively, very softly, almost trembling with nerves, he started to kiss me. At first I was shocked, then suddenly found myself desperately wanting to give in to his soft young lips …
    ‘Flo,’ Justin was saying, gulping, and grabbing at me with increasing strength.
    ‘FLORA!’ came a shouting voice. The spell was broken instantly and I jumped back.
    ‘Fuck, that’s my brother,’ said Justin.
    ‘He’s meant to be walking me home,’ I said, stuttering, trying to straighten my top.
    ‘I’ll walk you home,’ said Justin.
    ‘Um, that’s OK,’ I said, wondering what Clell might say to that particular little arrangement.
    ‘Ummm …’
    ‘FLORA!’
    ‘I’d better go,’ I said. ‘I promised my dad.’
    Justin kissed me. Then he kissed me again. Then the whole thing started taking off again …
    ‘I have to go,’ I said. ‘I have to.’
    I kissed him absolutely definitely for the last time. Then once or twice more for luck. Then once more for the road. Then I reappeared, breathless, inside the kitchen door.
    Clelland was standing there looking annoyed.
    ‘Where the devil have you been?’
    ‘Looks like someone’s been out behind the bushes,’ said Fallon, clocking my fevered cheeks and racing breathing.
    ‘I’m ready,’ I said.
    ‘Don’t forget your hymen!’ sang Fallon gaily.
    ‘Listen, you useless, anorexic sack of shit,’ I said, turning on her suddenly. ‘You know how when parents divorce they say it’s never the child’s fault? Maybe in your case you should re-examine that clause.’
    She stepped back as if I’d slapped her. I remembered at the last minute that you never ever diss anyone’s parents. Fortunately I’m very mature and in control of myself. Equal psychic scarrings for everyone tonight.
    ‘Are they fighting for anti-custody of who doesn’t get you?’
    ‘Shut up,’ she said. ‘Shut up shut up shut up.’
    ‘Well, stop coming it with me, fat tits.’
    ‘Ethan!’ she said, her huge eyes wet with tears.
    ‘Oh, hi, Flora,’ said Ethan. ‘Have a good night?’
    ‘Hey,’ I said.
    ‘Watch out for yourself,’ he said.
    ‘WHAT?’ said Fallon.
    I turned round and looked at Clelland. ‘Shall we go?’ I said.
    ‘Are those teenagers still fighting?’ said Madeleine, coming out from behind the door. ‘How terribly fascinating.’
    ‘I’m walking these two home,’ said Clelland. He looked next to me. ‘Oh God, where’s the other one? She was here a moment ago.’
    ‘Stanzi!’ I yelled. She appeared, staggering slightly, from the coats cupboard, closely followed by a de-spectacled Kendall, looking stunned. I couldn’t help smiling, and, smiling too, Clelland caught my eye.
    ‘Right!’ he said. ‘All out!’
    ‘Uh, Mr Clelland, sir …’
    We looked at each other again. It was Kendall.
    ‘Yes, what is it?’ said Clell, in his best exasperated teacher impersonation.
    ‘Can I walk Constanzia home, sir?’
    ‘Is she staying at yours?’ Clelland asked me. I nodded. ‘OK. If she’s agreeable, you can walk ten feet in front of us, fully visible at all times.’
    ‘Right, OK, great, thanks, mate,’ said Kendall, flustered.
    ‘I just went from “Mr Clelland” to “mate”,’ Clell complained to me.
    ‘Next stop, “wanker”!’ I said cheerfully.
    ‘Constanzia,’ Kendall was clearing his throat, ‘might I ask if I can walk you …?’
    Stanzi had already leaped on him like a flying red and black bat and we had to usher them out the door glued to each other.
    ‘Hormones,’ Clelland said when we were finally out of the house, walking very slowly behind a stumbling, giggling StanziKendallphant. ‘Drive you crazy at that age … Christ, I keep forgetting.