Emily Kenyon 01 - A Cold Dark Place

all comes from his carefully manufactured image. It matters”
    “Tell us everything and then we’ll go,” Christopher said. “If we need to talk with you later, we’ll arrange a discreet location. We’re not here to ruin your life for something stupid you did a long time ago. Okay?”
    Tina shook her head. “I can’t say that I thought I’d be able to live my whole life having swept this under the carpet. The truth is, I’ve never gone a day without wondering if someone would come knocking on my door and asking, `Are you my mother?”’
    Christopher sat next to Emily, facing Tina. “Tell us what happened” His calm, understanding tone seemed to say, don’t be embarrassed. Don’t hold back. You can trust us.
    Tina stayed silent, collecting her thoughts. She closed her eyes. Emily could see how hard this was, that Tina was fighting the compulsion to stay closed up. To lie.
    “All right. But I want you to know that whatever I did, whatever stupid mistake I did, I’ve regretted it for a lifetime. It isn’t me. My therapist has taught me not to let it define me. So I won’t. I just won’t.”
    Tina told them how it started, how the whole love affair with Dylan Walker had blossomed into something sexual.
    “God, I know, you think I fell for him because he was so handsome. But it wasn’t like that. It was through his words. It was like he could see into my soul. I know that sounds completely ridiculous, but the man had a gift. He was one of those rare people who could look right at you and know everything about you. Everything that mattered to you”
    “I know the type,” Emily said. “The world is full of charmers”
    The disclosure seemed to calm Tina. She brightened slightly. “Maybe you do understand? I have beat myself up for almost twenty years. You’d probably be surprised to know that it wasn’t until very recently that I’ve been able to put the blame on him, rather than myself.”
    Chris shot Emily a look, but she ignored it. Chris was the kind of man who never once considered that any actions were the result of another’s control. He was all about personal responsibility.
    Tina told them that when she first wrote to Dylan Walker, it was on a whim. But within a few months, she was in so deep that when he asked her to have his baby, she said yes.
    Emily prodded, though she did so as gently as possible. “That’s a huge leap, Tina. How did it happen?”
    Tina stared at her smudged napkin. “I said yes, because I knew it wasn’t possible. We weren’t married before his conviction and therefore there’d never be any conjugal visit. Not in Washington, anyway. It was all a fantasy love affair. I believed in him-I never thought he’d killed anyone, let alone those girls from Meridian. I mean, I knew that to my bones. My love and support for him just masked the reality of what I was about to do”
    Emily drew her in with a knowing smile, a look of acceptance. “Sometimes we do things that when we look back, we can’t imagine that it was us at all.” It was the kind of comment that made her such a good interviewer. Reveal a little something of yourself-or at least let the subject think you are. It builds trust and trust leads to further disclosure. In this case, Emily’s thoughts were on Reynard Tuttle and Kristi Cooper.
    “It was me,” Tina said. “And I’ve thought about it every day. For years I tried to set it aside. When the Angel’s Nest scandal broke I was just sure that it would come out. I started going to church. I prayed every night. I got on meds. Each moment closer to trial I just knew my life was going to implode. But it didn’t. I was home free. Until you.”
    “Backup,” Christopher said, apparently comfortable enough to interject. “I’d like to be sensitive about this, but I can’t think of a better way to say it. Just how did you manage to get pregnant?”
    Tina Esposito stood and walked to the dining window. It was a slow, purposeful walk. The sunlight on her face showed every flaw. She had been beautiful once, but right now she looked old, tired, and scared. She spoke to the window, refusing to face Christopher or Emily.
    “This is very embarrassing,” she said, her voice a whisper. “During our visits, he’d pass me a sample.”
    She hesitated.
    “A sample?” Emily asked.
    “Oh God, you’re going to make me draw you a picture, aren’t you? Of his semen, you know. I’d excuse myself and use the bathroom” She searched for the most genteel