Ender's Shadow

"Enough to know that this child truly is a miracle, raised up by God for some great purpose.”
      "I'm not Catholic," said the inspector.
      "God loves you all the same," said Sister Carlotta cheerfully.

PART TWO
     
     
    LAUNCHY
     
     
     

5
     
    Ready or Not
     
     
      "Why are you giving me a five-year-old street urchin to tend?”
      "You've seen the scores.”
      "Am I supposed to take those seriously?”
      "Since the whole Battle School program is based on the reliability of our juvenile testing program, yes, I think you should take his scores seriously. I did a little research. No child has ever done better. Not even your star pupil.”
      "It's not the validity of the tests that I doubt. It's the tester.”
      "Sister Carlotta is a nun. You'll never find a more honest person.
      "Honest people have been known to deceive themselves. To want so desperately, after all these years of searching, to find one -- just one -- child whose value will be worth all that work.”
      "And she's found him.”
      "Look at the way she found him. Her first report touts this Achilles child, and this -- this Bean, this Legume -- he's just an afterthought. Then Achilles is gone, not another mention of him -- did he die? Wasn't she trying to get a leg operation for him? -- and it's Haricot Vert who is now her candidate.”
      "'Bean' is the name he calls himself. Rather as your Andrew Wiggin calls himself 'Ender.'“
      "He's not my Andrew Wiggin.”
      "And Bean is not Sister Carlotta's child, either. If she were inclined to fudge the scores or administer tests unfairly, she would have pushed other students into the program long before now, and we'd already know how unreliable she was. She has never done that. She washes out her most hopeful children herself, then finds some place for them on Earth or in a non-command program. I think you're merely annoyed because you've already decided to focus all your attention and energy on the Wiggin boy, and you don't want any distraction.”
      "When did I lie down on your couch?”
      "If my analysis is wrong, do forgive me.”
      "Of course I'll give this little one a chance. Even if I don't for one second believe these scores.”
      "Not just a chance. Advance him. Test him. Challenge him. Don't let him languish.”
      "You underestimate our program. We advance and test and challenge all our students.”
      "But some are more equal than others.”
      "Some take better advantage of the program than others.”
      "I'll look forward to telling Sister Carlotta about your enthusiasm.”
     
     
      Sister Carlotta shed tears when she told Bean that it was time for him to leave. Bean shed none.
      "I understand that you're afraid, Bean, but don't be," she said. "You'll be safe there, and there's so much to learn. The way you drink down knowledge, you'll be very happy there in no time. So you won't really miss me at all.”
      Bean blinked. What sign had he given that made her think he was afraid? Or that he would miss her?
      He felt none of those things. When he first met her, he might have been prepared to feel something for her. She was kind. She fed him. She was keeping him safe, giving him a life.
      But then he found Pablo the janitor, and there was Sister Carlotta, stopping Bean from talking to the man who had saved him long before she did. Nor would she tell him anything that Pablo had said, or anything she had learned about the clean place.
      From that moment, trust was gone. Bean knew that whatever Sister Carlotta was doing, it wasn't for him. She was using him. He didn't know what for. It might even be something he would have chosen to do himself.
      But she wasn't telling him the truth. She had secrets from him. The way Achilles kept secrets.
      So during the months that she was his teacher, he had grown more and more distant from her. Everything she taught, he learned -- and much that she didn't teach as well. He took every test she gave him, and did well; but he showed her nothing he had learned that she hadn't taught him.
      Of course life with Sister Carlotta was better than life on the street -- he had no intention of going back. But he did not trust her. He was on guard all the time. He was as careful as he had ever been back in Achilles's family. Those brief days at the beginning, when he wept in front of her, when he let go of himself and spoke freely -- that had been a mistake that he would not repeat. Life was better, but he wasn't