Ender's Shadow

will.”
     
     
     
      Major Anderson looked at the boy sitting across the table from him. "Really, it's not that important a matter, Nikolai.”
      "I thought maybe I was in trouble.”
      "No, no. We just noticed that you seemed to be a particular friend of Bean. He doesn't have a lot of friends.”
      "It didn't help that Dimak painted a target on him in the shuttle. And now Ender's gone and done the same thing. I suppose Bean can take it, but smart as he is, he kind of pisses off a lot of the other kids.”
      "But not you?”
      "Oh, he pisses me off, too.”
      "And yet you became his friend.”
      "Well, I didn't mean to. I just had the bunk across from him in launchy barracks.”
      "You traded for that bunk.”
      "Did I? Oh. Eh.”
      "And you did that before you knew how smart Bean was.”
      "Dimak told us in the shuttle that Bean had the highest scores of any of us.”
      "Was that why you wanted to be near him?”
      Nikolai shrugged.
      "It was an act of kindness," said Major Anderson. "Perhaps I'm just an old cynic, but when I see such an inexplicable act I become curious.”
      "He really does kind of look like my baby pictures. Isn't that dumb? I saw him and I thought, he looks just like cute little baby Nikolai. Which is what my mother always called me in my baby pictures. I never thought of them as me . I was big Nikolai. That was cute little baby Nikolai. I used to pretend that he was my little brother and we just happened to have the same name. Big Nikolai and Cute Little Baby Nikolai.”
      "I see that you're ashamed, but you shouldn't be. It's a natural thing for an only child to do.”
      "I wanted a brother.”
      "Many who have a brother wish they didn't.”
      "But the brother I made up for myself, he and I got along fine." Nikolai laughed at the absurdity of it.
      "And you saw Bean and thought of him as the brother you once imagined.”
      "At first. Now I know who he really is, and it's better. It's like ... sometimes he's the little brother and I'm looking out for him, and sometimes he's the big brother and he's looking out for me.”
      "For instance?”
      "What?”
      "A boy that small -- how does he look out for you?”
      "He gives me advice. Helps me with classwork. We do some practice together. He's better at almost everything than I am. Only I'm bigger, and I think I like him more than he likes me.”
      "That may be true, Nikolai. But as far as we can tell, he likes you more than he likes anybody else. He just ... so far, he may not have the same capacity for friendship that you have. I hope that my asking you these questions won't change your feelings and actions toward Bean. We don't assign people to be friends, but I hope you'll remain Bean's.”
      "I'm not his friend," said Nikolai.
      "Oh?”
      "I told you. I'm his brother." Nikolai grinned. "Once you get a brother, you don't give him up easy."

15
     
    Courage
     
     
      "Genetically, they're identical twins. The only difference is Anton's key.”
      "So the Delphikis have two sons.”
      "The Delphikis have one son, Nikolai, and he's with us for the duration. Bean was an orphan found on the streets of Rotterdam.”
      "Because he was kidnapped.”
      "The law is clear. Fertilized eggs are property. I know that this is a matter of religious sensitivity for you, but the I.F. is bound by law, not --”
      "The I.F. uses law where possible to achieve its own ends. I know you're fighting a war. I know that some things are outside your power. But the war will not go on forever. All I ask is this: Make this information part of a record -- part of many records. So that when the war ends, the proof of these things can and will survive. So the truth won't stay hidden.”
      "Of course.”
      "No, not of course. You know that the moment the Formics are defeated, the I.F. will have no reason to exist. It will try to continue to exist in order to maintain international peace. But the League is not politically strong enough to survive in the nationalist winds that will blow. The I.F. will break into fragments, each following its own leader, and God help us if any part of the fleet ever should use its weapons against the surface of the Earth.”
      "You've been spending too much time reading the Apocalypse.”
      "I may not be one of the genius children in your school, but I see how the tides of opinion are flowing here on Earth. On the nets a demagogue named Demosthenes is inflaming the West