Existence 03 - Ceaseless

I’d seen this before. My heart pounded in my chest as I reached out and touched it.
    “What is this?” I asked lifting my gaze from the brooch to Gee’s curious expression.
    “I think you know. You should know. Why don’t’ you take this brooch and put it in your pocket. Think about it. See if a memory doesn’t find its way inside.”
    I picked up the delicate brooch. It looked old but well cared for. My head started to spin as I held it. She was right. There was a memory here.
    “Where did you get it?
    “Why it’s a funny thing you should ask me that. I found it in your room. Right where you left it.”
    How had she found this in my room? I didn’t remember ever putting this anywhere in my room. I looked back up at her to ask but she was gone.
    I ran the pad of my thumb over the stones.
    “Can you take this and give it to me after my soul leaves my body? I want to keep it.”
    A sharp pain sliced through my head. I reached out and grabbed the side of the car to keep from falling.
    “I gave you this brooch. I told you that I wanted to take it with me. You said that could be arranged and you slipped it into your pocket ”
    Another hot blaze rocketed through my head. I sank down to the cement below. What was happening? There were memories attached to this brooch. Things I’d forgotten. I dropped the brooch into my lap and grabbed my head with both hands as the pain grew stronger.
    “But you never saw me again. Because your soul was erased off the charts. The only reason I remembered you was because of this brooch. ”
    “AAAAAAH!” I cried out in agony. With each memory that surfaced the pain in my head grew stronger .
    “ So, I came to watch you. To see what about this soul was so unique. ”
    I knew him. Dank. Oh god. I knew him. Tears blurred my vision as I curled up in a ball on the hard ground. No one could see me tucked away between two cars. I bite my lip to keep from making any more sounds as the memories laced through my mind one sentence at a time. Each touch. Each moment. I’d forgotten it all. A sob escaped me and I fought back the wail growing in my chest. How had I forgotten him? I loved him. He was everything to me. How could I forget him? I’d sent him away. The sobs grew louder and I gave up trying to keep quiet. Between the shattering of my heart and the explosion in my head I was unable to do little more than wither on the ground and weep.

Chapter Twenty

    Dank

    The room was dark when I arrived. Gee had called me here. All she’d said was, “It’s Pagan.” I’d come immediately but I hadn’t expected it to be Pagan’s dorm room she was calling me to. I scanned the room and found Pagan curled up on the bed asleep. It wasn’t even lunchtime yet. The curtains were closed and the lights were off. Was she sick?
    “She remembered,” Gee said from the corner of the room where she sat watching me.
    “What exactly did she remember?” I asked taking a step toward the bed where Pagan was sleeping.
    “Everything , I think. Hell I don’t know. She hasn’t talked . I don’t know how affected she is yet. If she’s hurt, mentally, I expect you to extinguish me. I can’t live with the guilt.”
    Panic gripped me and I rushed to the side of the bed and knelt down beside her . What had Gee done? She wasn’t supposed to remember everything until the Deity decided it was time. I had been hoping for some small memory to come back to her but never had I wanted to harm her.
    “What … Did .. . You … Do?” I lifted my gaze from Pagan’s still pale body and glared at Gee.
    “Get mad. Please. I want you to. If she is messed up because I made a stupid ass decision I’m not going to be able to live with it.”
    Gee’s solemn expression didn’t help. Gee was never serious. I reached up and brushed the hair from her face gently. The natural pink color of her cheeks was gone. “Tell me what you did, Gee ,” I begged. I couldn’t help her if I didn’t know what had happened. I needed an explanation.
    “You weren’t fighting. You were just letting her go. Fuck that. I wasn’t going to let you go down so easy. She isn’t happy with the so - called soul mate they created for her. She is lost without you. I… I gave her the brooch.”
    The brooch. The one I’d kept for her. The one I’d given back to her only last Valentine’s day . She’d remembered the time I’d come to her as a child. It had been her grandmother’s. She’d wanted me to keep it and give it back to