Existence 03 - Ceaseless

same.”
    “Shut up , Gee . I don’t know what you expect me to do. She didn’t want to ever see me again. I was giving her what she wanted.”
    Gee made a gagging sound. “No you were being a big baby. Poor Dank can’t get Pagan to remember him so he tucks his tail and runs. Her soul mate thanks you. He really does. Now he doesn’t have anything standing in his way.”
    “That’s enough, Gee.”
    “ Whatev , you need to grow a pair. She asked where you were tonight. I know you heard her. Hell , I heard her , and I wasn’t the one pawing all over her. She wanted to see you then.”
I stopped pacing and looked up at the window where I knew she was sleeping. I’d said my goodbye. I’d given her a normal life just like she wanted. Had it been the wrong thing to do? If I had pushed her to remember, if I had tried harder to make her love me would it have worked?
    “This is the unfair bitch of it all. She loves you. She just can’t remember. Not because her mind is sick , or her brain is damaged , but b ecause the Deity took that memory from her. Even though her head can’t remember her heart does .”
    I leaned against the brick wall and stared up at the dark sky. Would her heart win out? Could her heart trigger her memory? What if she remembered one day and I was gone? What then? Did I just lose her forever and have her think I didn’t want her? That I didn’t love her?
    “What do I do, Gee ?”
    “You fucking fight is what you do. You fucking fight.”
    “I don’t want to destroy her. I don’t want to hurt her. I just want her happy.”
    “She’ll never be happy if she never remembers.”

    Pagan
    The door across the hall from mine was wide open when I stepped into the hall. A girl with tight black curls and an olive complexion was sitting on the bed talking to Janet , wh o shared that room with a girl name Tabby. The girl with curls waved at me and jumped up and ran to the door.
    “Hey, we’ve not met yet. I’m Babes and yes , like for real that is my name , please do not ask. My mother smoked a lot of pot. Janet said you shared this room with your friend Miranda who is never here.”
    She sure knew a lot about me. Janet stuck her head around the corner and her hair was up in a towel. “Morning, Pagan. Sorry about Babes and her morning chattiness. It can cause headaches.”
    Babes rolled her brown eyes and beamed up at me. Not many people were shorter than me but Babes was barely five foot. Her mom’s pot smoking must have stunted her growth.
    “Are you going to the Omega party tonight?”
    Shaking my head I admitted, “I have no idea what that is.” I wasn’t a social bug. Just recently I’d been getting to know the other girls in my dorm.
    “ Ooooh , you have to go. The Omegas throw the best parties. They only let in attractive females. You’d get in , no problem.”
    No thanks. I’d turned Jay down to all the ones he’d asked me to go to. I just couldn’t bring myself to participate. It didn’t sound like anything I was interested in.
    “She’s gonna say no. She never goes anywhere except with the hottie that shows up to get her a few times a week.” Janet said from the chair she was sitting in brushing her hair.
    “Oh come on. It’ll be fun. We can laugh at the insaneness together.”
    I was going to be late to class. “I’ll think about it,” I said walking down the hall.
    “It was nice meeting you,” she called out behind me.
    She was a bubbly sort. “You too,” I replied and hurried toward the door before she could say anything else. I definitely needed coffee before I could handle her again.
    I expected Jay to be outside waiting on me with a cup of coffee in his hand. But for the first time in weeks, he wasn’t. I had enough time to stop by the coffee house on my way to class if I hurried.
    “Sleeping too late Peggy Ann, tsk tsk tsk .”
    I stopped and spun around at the sound of Gee’s voice. She was sitting on the hood of her little black sports car.
    “Gee?”
    She rolled her eyes, “Last time I checked.”
    I walked toward her, “What are you doing here?”
    “I have something that belongs to you. I thought I’d bring it back. If I recall correctly you were real attached to it.”
    What was she talking about? I was beside her car when she reached i nto her pocket and pulled something out and held out her hand. Slowly she opened it and nestled in the palm of her hand was a small gold brooch. It was a heart shaped filigree with pale pink stones.