Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

happened?” “I was wrong. It was someone else.” “Did you ask him why he was walking like that?” “He'd lost something and was searching the ground for it.”
    “Well, you don't have to look anymore,” I told him. He said, “I've spent so long looking for this key. It's hard to look at it.” “Don't you want to see what he left for you?” “I don't think it's a question of wanting.” I asked him, “What's it a question of?”
    He said, “I'm so sorry. I know that you're looking for something, too. And I know this isn't what you're looking for.” “It's OK.” “For what it's worth, your father seemed like a good man. I only spoke with him for a few minutes, but that was long enough to see that he was good. You were lucky to have a father like that. I'd trade this key for that father.” “You shouldn't have to choose.” “No, you shouldn't.”
    We sat there, not saying anything. I examined the pictures on his desk again. All of them were of Abby.
    He said, “Why don't you come with me to the bank?” “You're nice, but no thank you.” “Are you sure?” It's not that I wasn't curious. I was incredibly curious. It's that I was afraid of getting confused.
    He said, “What is it?” “Nothing.” “Are you all right?” I wanted to keep the tears in, but I couldn't. He said, “I'm so, so sorry.”
    “Can I tell you something that I've never told anyone else?”
    “Of course.”
    “On that day, they let us out of school basically as soon as we got there. They didn't really tell us why, just that something bad had happened. We didn't get it, I guess. Or we didn't get that something bad could happen to us. A lot of parents came to pick up their kids, but since school is only five blocks from my apartment, I walked home. My friend told me he was going to call, so I went to the answering machine and the light was beeping. There were five messages. They were all from him.” “Your friend?” “My dad.”
    He covered his mouth with his hand.
    “He just kept saying that he was OK, and that everything would be fine, and that we shouldn't worry.”
    A tear went down his cheek and rested on his finger.
    “But this is the thing that I've never told anyone. After I listened to the messages, the phone rang. It was 10:22. I looked at the caller ID and saw that it was his cell phone.” “Oh, God.” “Could you please put your hand on me so I can finish the rest?” “Of course,” he said, and he scooted his chair around his desk and next to me.
    "I couldn't pick up the phone. I just couldn't do it. It rang and rang, and I couldn't move. I wanted to pick it up, but I couldn't.
    “The answering machine went on, and I heard my own voice.”
    Hi, you've reached the Schell residence. Here is today's fact of the day: It's so cold in Yukatia, which is in Siberia, that breath instantly freezes with a crackling noise that they call the whispering of the stars. On extremely cold days, the towns are covered in a fog caused by the breath of humans and animals. Please leave a message.
    "There was a beep.
    “Then I heard Dad's voice.”
    Are you there? Are you there? Are you there?
    "He needed me, and I couldn't pick up. I just couldn't pick up. I just couldn't. Are you there? He asked eleven times. I know, because I've counted. It's one more than I can count on my fingers. Why did he keep asking? Was he waiting for someone to come home? And why didn't he say 'anyone'? Is anyone there? 'You' is just one person. Sometimes I think he knew I was there. Maybe he kept saying it to give me time to get brave enough to pick up. Also, there was so much space between the times he asked. There are fifteen seconds between the third and the fourth, which is the longest space. You can hear people in the background screaming and crying. And you can hear glass breaking, which is part of what makes me wonder if people were jumping.
    Are you there? Are you there? Are you there? Are you there? Are you there? Are you there? Are you there? Are you there? Are you there? Are you there? Are you
    "And then it cut off.
    “I've timed the message, and it's one minute and twenty-seven seconds. Which means it ended at 10:24. Which was when the building came down. So maybe that's how he died.”
    “I'm so sorry,” he said.
    “I've never told that to anyone.”
    He squeezed me, almost like a hug, and I could feel him shaking his head.
    I asked him, “Do you forgive me?”
    “Do I forgive you?”
    “Yeah.”
    “For not being