Faded (Rock Star Trilogy)

bricks are sitting on it, and I'm having problems taking a deep breath. I just want this over with,” I admit.
    “You are not chicken.” Stephan kisses the top of my head.
    “Do you think it's a good idea to have Alec film this? Should the whole world really see?” I ask him, and I realize that I trust his judgment.
    “It's hard to say one way or the other. Part of me thinks it's a very personal conversation to be on TV. But at the same time, you're getting your side of the story told. Don't you think your parents are going to try to sell this?”
    “They definitely would.” He's right, and I already feel better about my decision. “Thank you.”
    “Oh, I'm sure you will find some way to make up for my help,” he replies, kissing my forehead. “I saw Agnes put the rest of the whip cream in the fridge.”
    I can't help but giggle. I know that he's joking. I love how he can cheer me up with his cheesy lines. It's just one of the many things that I love about him.
    And now I'm thinking about sex with him.
    “What are you thinking?” Stephan asks, noticing my silence.
    I feel my face flush. “Umm...” I try to think of something, anything other than what I'm really thinking . But I can't.
    Stephan pushes me back a little so he can see my face. “You're blushing...”
    I clear my throat.
    “Tell me.”
    I once again hide my face in his chest. I decide to be brave and just say it.
    “I was thinking about what it would be like to make love to you.”
    My head is on his chest, so I can hear Stephan's heart rate accelerate, and I can't help but smile. I love that I can affect him like this.
    “You can't say stuff like that to me, Scarlett. I want you so bad I can hardly stand it sometimes,” he admits.
    “Then what's stopping you?” I challenge him. I'm so bad. I shouldn't be like this.
    “I guess I'm scared I won't be good enough.”
    This causes me to sit up. “What do you mean?”
    “I mean...” he pauses, and I can tell he's embarrassed. “You've probably been with a lot of guys. What if I can't compare?”
    I shake my head. “Stephan, I'm not a whore. I really haven't had sex with that many guys.”
    “Like how many?” he asks.
    I've never been in a relationship before, so I'm not sure if this is a normal question, but I answer anyway. “Like ten. But I wasn't dating any of them, and trust me; sex with you will be better. I actually have feelings for you.”
    “Oh.”
    “What about you?” Now I'm curious.
    “Three.”
    That's not so bad. “Anybody I know?”
    I can tell by the look on his face that he doesn't want to answer this question. “Is who really important?”
    It wasn't until I saw his reaction to the question. Now I'm curious. “Come on. I want to know.”
    “You know one of the girls. But first I have to tell you, it was only one time , and I was drunk. It meant nothing, and I have no feelings for the girl. Like at all.”
    “Okay.”
    “Zoe.”
    “Ew.” Zoe. Seriously, why her? Seriously, why couldn't it have been anybody but her ? Though, I guess it does explain why she was so territorial about Stephan that night at the races.
    “What about you? Ever been with anybody I know?”
    I laugh, and name off a few celebrities.
    “Wow. You had a crazy life before moving to Hope.”
    I nod my head. I truly did. And I can happily say, I am glad that chapter in my life is over. I lay my head back onto Stephan's chest, and just enjoy the serene surroundings.
     
    11:33 AM
    This life.
     
    I fell asleep on Stephan's chest, and he wakes me up by gently shaking me.
    “Hey, Scar, Alec says we need to get ready. Your mom is going to be here in an hour and a half,” he tells me.
    I'm awake now.
    When we walk back inside the house, Alec is setting up the camera. “The lighting here is perfect,” he explains. “You should wear blue. You look hot in blue.”
    Stephan is now glaring at Alec. “Dude, not cool.”
    Alec shrugs. “Fine. Wear whatever you want. But remember, millions of people are going to be watching this. At least fix your hair.”
    “Where is Bridgett?” I really need my sister right now.
    This isn't just for me . This is for Bridgett — for them adopting me and leaving her. This is for Stacy — for them kicking her out when she needed them the most. And this is for the grandchild my parents have never met, Anna. This is about them never taking responsibility for their actions, and for using me.
    “She's reading on the balcony,” he tells me.
    I run up the