Faded (Rock Star Trilogy)

can’t hear it, because you will spread the ashes of my heart in the deepest parts of the ocean and I will NEVER heal from that.”
    He thinks about what I just said. He’s probably trying to process it. In fact, I’m still trying to process what I just said.
    Caffeine. I need caffeine .
    “Why wouldn’t I like the song?” he asks.
    I sigh. “How about we drop it for now. You will eventually hear the song, but until then, I’d like to enjoy the time we have together.”
    “Did you write me a break up song?”
    “NO! Oh my God, never.” I laugh. “It’s quite the opposite really. Which is why I know that you will HATE it.”
    Stephan sighs. “Scarlett Ryan, you are the weirdest person that I have ever met .”
    “ Good weird or bad weird ?” I bite my lip while I wait for his response.
    “I will have to get back to you on that one,” he jokes. “So, when do I get to hear the song that will make me spread the ashes of your heart in the deepest parts of the ocean?”
    “ I’m thinking never .” I pause, and then nod my head. “Yep, never is the perfect time .”
    “You know that I’ll hear it eventually.”
    “When you do, could you just pretend you didn’t? That way things won’t be weird between us.”
    “Things are already weird between us, Scarlett.” He laughs.
    “I will admit that this is possibly the weirdest conversation that we’ve ever had.”
    “I’m so glad we cleared that up.”
    “Me too,” I agree with a laugh.
    After I get up, Stephan informs me that we are going shopping for Halloween costumes. Thankfully the filming crew has the night off, so it’s just us two. Alone. Finally.
    “So when is Barry sending your contract?” Stephan asks me, as we look through the superhero section.
    “Tomorrow or Saturday,” I answer. “But the rest of today will be spent talking about normal, non-music business stuff.”
    “Okay,” he agrees.
    “So how was school today? Was it weird seeing Mona?”
    He shakes his head. “No way. If we aren’t talking about the music business, than we are definitely not going to talk about her .”
    “I guess that is fair.”
    He pulls out a costume. “I could be Iron Man.”
    I crinkle my nose. “No way. Thor is way cooler of a superhero.”
    “He’s not a superhero. He’s a god. There is a difference,” Stephan quickly replies.
    “Whatever. I really don’t care . He’s a mythical creature either way. He can be whoever the fuck I want him to be.” I shake my head.
    “What are you going as?” Stephan asks.
    “Who cares?” I laugh and decide to quote Mean Girls. “Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” I pause then say, “I was thinking slutty zombie.”
    “I think I’m going to like your costume,” Stephan says quickly. “And I will totally let you bite me.”
    “ Only you could think about sex during the zombie apocalypse,” I joke.
    “Well somebody is going to have to repopulate the earth. It’s a rough job, but I think I’m up for the challenge.” He puts his arm around my shoulder and starts walking me to the door. “In fact, we better get started now.”
    I remove his arm from around my shoulder. “Right. You get started without me. I’m just going to grab my costume.”

 
     
    Friday, October 31
    7:26 AM
    An un-dead, dead person.
     
    It’s officially Halloween. Which means I have to get up twice as early to fix my zombie makeup.
    I ended up buying a black tutu, red fishnet stockings, and a white tank top. I splashed red food coloring on my tank top, and ripped holes in the tutu and tank. Bridgett volunteered to wake up early to do my zombie make up. She said she used to do the make up for her drama class in high school, and had done her “fair share” of zombies. So I trust her to make me look like an un-dead, dead person.
    After my makeup is dry, I put on my four-inch black stilettos.
    “How do you walk in shoes like that every day? I would break my ankle if I tried.”
    I shrug. “I don’t know. I’ve just always worn them, even when I was performing on stage. Heels make me feel confident.”
    “I don’t get it. They’re just shoes.”
    “I know. It’s silly. But they make me taller, my posture is better, and they make my butt look amazing. Maybe it’s the way other people look at me when I wearthem.” I try to make her understand. “I guess the easiest way to explain it is like this… I haven’t always