Fall from Love

as if he knew what he was about to tell me was going to shatter my world into a million different pieces.
    “Holly,” he finally said, his voice was guarded and soft. “Adam was in an accident while we were coming down the mountain and he... he... he didn’t make it.”
    The ringing in my ears began the second he started talking. The pressure on my chest and pain in my heart didn’t start until he actually said those words, though. He didn’t make it . Deep down, I already knew he was gone from the moment I got that phone call. I guess I just didn’t want to believe it. My whole body began to tremble as I looked into Carter’s eyes.
    For a moment, there was nothing except silence and no tears fell from my eyes. Even though I knew what he said, I still didn’t want to believe it. I think I was still in shock. Then, as if a light switch went off in my brain, the tears began to fall and I couldn’t stop them for anything in the world.
    Carter pulled me in his arms and held me. I couldn’t help repeating the words he just told me over in my head. Adam didn’t make it. He was gone. Never coming back. The guy I loved, who I was with just a few hours ago—that was alive and breathing—was gone. How can that be? He was just here. How can he be gone just like that?
    Without warning, anger ripped through me and the reality hit me hard, knowing that I would never see his face again—never see his smile again. I couldn’t control myself as I began to hammer my fists against Carter’s chest while I screamed and cried. There was no control in me. It felt like I was trapped in a horrible nightmare and the harder I punched and the more I cried, the faster I would wake up from this horrible dream. The entire time I was having my meltdown, Carter never said a word. He never asked me to stop punching him or screaming in his ear. He just pulled me closer to him and squeezed me even harder.
    Jenna showed up an hour or so later and had to peel me out of his arms. Before that night, I had never met Carter and, even though he told me the worst news I had ever received, in that moment he gave me the most comfort. He was there for me. He held me tight. He let me cry. He let me punch him until my fists ached. He was warm. He was safe. I didn’t want to let him go.
    A hand grabs my shoulder and gives me a soft shake. My hearts jumps, but when I open my eyes and see it’s just Jenna, my heart begins to return to a regular rhythm.
    “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” she says, her big, blue eyes are staring right at me. “You didn’t answer when I called your name the first few times.” Her eyebrows draw downward and I can see the pity in her face. “Have you been in here the whole time?” Her tangled expression makes me realize that tears are rolling down my cheeks. “You want to talk about it?”
    I shake my head and wipe the tears from my face. “No, I’m good.”
    She mashes her lips together, causing her mouth to form into a straight line. I know she’s trying to hold back asking me any more questions and it’s killing her to do so.
    “Where’s the bathroom?” I ask, wanting to clean myself up and gather my thoughts.
    “C’mon,” she wraps her arm around my shoulder, “I’ll show you.”
     
    ❧
     
    Jenna and I decide to take Josh up on his offer and stay at the house since we both had a few beers. I’ve been staring at the T.V. for the last few hours, but I don’t even know what has been on and I can feel Jenna’s stare burning holes into the side of my head.
    “What?” I turn and finally ask her, unable to take it anymore. She tries to turn her head away from me, but she doesn’t do it fast enough and I catch her. “C’mon, I’m not stupid.” I keep my eyes focused on her. “Go ahead; I know you’re dying to ask me.”
    She swallows hard and faces me. “I’m just wondering if you’re doing okay. You didn’t even ask why Josh and Carter had to leave so suddenly… but you know, though, don’t you?”
    I nod my head.
    She pauses for a moment, looking down at her hands. “And how do you know?”
    I sigh, knowing she’ll never lay off me now, so I may as well tell her everything. “I was talking to Carter in the garage when Josh came in and told him about... the rescue.”
    She nods her head and her mouth forms a perfect ‘O.’ “So the two of you were talking?”
    I nod again.
    “And was it him or the talking that upset you?”
    I shake my head. “No, it wasn’t him.