Fall from Love

not liking each other. It makes me feel like I have to choose between the two of you. Besides, I actually think that the two of you would get along great… that the four of us would get along. Now that you and Holly have talked a little and Jenna doesn’t want to castrate you because of it, I think we could have something beautiful here.”
    Did I mention how much I hate him when he gets chatty? Life’s not a Hallmark card, but he’s never been able to understand that. He still has his family all intact. He doesn’t know what it’s like to have your life unravel at an uncontrollable speed. He doesn’t get what it feels like to have people look at you like you should be the one that died that night on the mountain, like you shouldn’t be the one alive right now. I’m shoving my shit into my backpack as fast as possible, wanting to get out of here so I don’t have to listen to him whine anymore about how everything’s not sunshine and rainbows. What does it matter if I don’t get along with his girlfriend anyway? Josh and I can still be friends. Not everyone has to get along with everyone, do they? I push my chair out and it screeches along the tile.
    “Hey,” Josh says, his voice much more serious and louder than before. I stop, grit my teeth, and clutch the strap on my backpack to the point of pain. I’m facing forward with my back towards him and he sighs loudly when I don’t turn around to face him.
    Finally he speaks, “Hey man, I know you’re still going through some rough shit, but you’re not as alone as you think you are.” There’s a long silence, but I still don’t turn around or say anything back to him. “Whatever, man. I just wanted you to know that I’m here for you, you should know that by now, though.”
    When he’s done talking, I don’t say a word. I can’t help feeling this uncontrollable anger inside me, but it’s not because of him. I know the way I’m treating him isn’t right. Even then, all I really want to do is turn around and yell at him... tell him that he has no idea what he’s talking about and to leave me the hell alone. Still going through some rough shit? That’s what he thinks my life has been the last few months? The last few years? Rough? What a joke.
    Instead, I keep my mouth shut and keep moving until I’m back upstairs in my room, knowing that anything I say to him right now, I’ll just end up regretting later. I drop my bag and squeeze my eyes tight. My fists form into tight balls and it takes everything inside me to withstand hitting the wall.
    Even though it’s been a couple weeks since I last saw Holly, she’s all I’ve thought about since that night I walked into the garage. The way she made me feel, especially when she smiled, it’s been hard to focus on anything but her. Even though, deep down, I know it’s wrong for me to want to see her again just for my own benefit, I want to feel that release again. That breath of fresh air my chest got when I saw her smile, I want it again... I need it.
    My eyes shift across my room and I see my phone lying on the bed. Without thinking too much about it, almost as if my subconscious is challenging me head on, I reach for the phone, scrolling through the names until I find Holly’s. When I press the call button, it only rings once before I can feel a full panic attack coming on. I end the call and throw the phone back on the bed, realizing that my chest is rising and falling in deep heavy breaths. What the hell is going on with me? She’s just a girl... It’s just a phone call.
    Forcing myself to get over it, I pick the phone back up. It rings twice before she picks up.
    “Hello?” Her voice is guarded, probably because she just got a hang up from this number. For the life of me, I can’t think of anything to say. I’m even contemplating hanging up the phone again. “Hello?” she says again. This time her voice has some annoyance in it.
    “Hey, Holly.” I take in a deep breath. “It’s Carter.” I squeeze my eyes tight after hearing the desperation and fear in my own voice.
    “Oh, hey.” Her voice is full of surprise, maybe shock.
    “I was going to see if you wanted to go get some coffee or something.” I feel like I’m fifteen again, asking a girl if she’ll go out with me.
    There’s a long silence and I pull the phone away from ear to check and make sure we’re still connected. “You there?” I ask, putting the phone back up to my ear.
    “Um, yeah, I’m here,” she