Fall from Love

head—the thoughts about what the rest of her must look like with no clothes on. Damn, drunk thoughts. I shake my head and try to empty the dirty thoughts, knowing she deserves better. She turns and opens the refrigerator, pulling out some sliced cheese and butter.
    “How does a grilled cheese sound?” She twirls around and looks at me, smiling.
    To be honest, it sounds like the worst thing on the planet, but nothing sounds appetizing at the moment. As I sit here and look at her, I wonder why she’s being so nice to me and I don’t have the heart to tell her the truth. “Sounds good.”
    My eyes continue to follow her every movement around the kitchen.
    “Frying pan?” she asks me.
    “Down below you on the right.”
    She bends over and this time I’m not strong enough to tear my eyes away. Her jeans slip down and I get a peek at her pink underwear. Every nerve in my body reacts. When she stands back up, I glance down to the counter and don’t dare to look up again until I know she’s facing me. She leans over and rips off a paper towel and, laying four pieces of bread down, she starts to spread the butter across the top. She carefully lays two pieces of bread in the pan and then puts the cheese on top. The second the butter starts to melt and the smell hits my nose, my stomach lurches. I swallow a few times and, when I feel like I’m in the clear, I walk over to the sink and pour myself some water.
    “Sorry, I’m a terrible host. Would you like something to drink?” I ask her.
    “No, I’m okay. Thanks, though.”
    “Why are you doing this?” I ask her when I’m sitting back down. “Why are you being so nice to me?”
    She glances from the frying pan to my eyes and then back to the pan. “I know what it’s like to go through a hard time and I know what it’s like to have a good friend be there for you, too.” She shrugs as she flips over the sandwiches. “I guess I’m trying to be a good friend.” She glances back up at me and smiles softly. Through my drunken stupor, I try to analyze her smile to see if it’s a real one or a fake one. When I finally decide that it’s real, my body warms and relaxes.
    Then I remember what Jenna told me and I’m reminded that I’m an asshole. I’m an asshole for not telling her the truth about what happened that night. Even though Jenna says that she doesn’t want me to say anything, I don’t think it’s right for me to keep it from her. My stomach turns again, but this time it’s not from the smell of the butter or the cheese melting. It’s from the guilt that’s swirling around inside me; wondering if she did know the truth, would she still be here right now?
    “Here you go. Maybe these will make you feel better,” she says, causing my thoughts to dissolve. She sets down a plate with two grilled cheeses in front of me. “I’m not much of a cook, but grilled cheese and French toast are my two specialties.”
    “So you’re good at cooking things that involve slices of bread and a frying pan?”
    She thinks about what I just said and then she chuckles. “Yeah, I guess I am.”
    I smile back at her and then glance down at the food she just made me. “I feel bad that I’m the only one eating, do you want to share? I’m not sure I can eat both of them anyway.” I push the plate so it sits between us.
    “No, I’m not hungry.” She pushes it back. “Besides, you’re the one that needs to eat.”
    I nod my head and grin at her. “Thank you for this.”
    “You’re welcome.” She smiles.

 
     
    Chapter Ten
     
    We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.
    ~ W. Somerset Maugham
     
    HOLLY
    “C’mon, please? Pretty, pretty, pretty, please?” Jenna peppers Josh’s neck with kisses in between each of her requests.
    We’re sitting in a booth at Cosmo’s Pizza and it’s clear that Jenna has no problems expressing a little PDA, especially if it’s to get something she really wants. As I press my lips together and try not to laugh, I reach my eyes to the left and see Carter staring at them with a disgusted look on his face, which makes it even harder for me to contain my laughter. The four of us have pretty much been inseparable the last few weeks, especially on weekends. Carter and I have become close friends. We talk on the phone each night before bed and I find myself missing him when we are apart.
    “Jenna, it’s just a stupid