Fall from Love

this is so great,” she says, smiling. “It became so unbearable watching the two of you. Josh and I were actually planning an intervention soon.”
    “What are you talking about?” I ask, snapping my seatbelt in place and starting the car.
    “Oh, come on.” She looks over at me, rolling her eyes. “The two of you have been torturing one another for months. I can’t believe that the two of you didn’t take down the house last night with how much sexual tension has been bottled up over the last few months.”
    Yeah, me either , I think to myself. I was ready to release all of that last night, it was Carter who pulled away and wasn’t so sure.
     
    ❧
     
    That night, the four of us go out to the dance club I’ve been hearing about all semester. Jenna and I are in the mood for dancing and, after a lot of coaxing, I’m even able to get Carter out on the dance floor with me. Towards the end of the night, I’m not sure what is going on with him, but he seems upset or distracted. The two of us really haven’t gotten a chance to talk privately about what happened between us last night and, by the cold shoulder he has been giving me the last hour or so, I fear that maybe he’s starting to regret it.
    By the time we are on our way back to his house, it’s almost like he’s going out of his way to avoid touching me or looking me in the eyes. He’s driving and Jenna and Josh are in the backseat keeping each other busy. When I reach out and try to grab his hand, he casually moves it away, causing my insides to feel like they’re being twisted.
    When we arrive back at their house, Jenna and Josh head upstairs to finish what they started in the car while Carter and I are left downstairs alone.
    “Hey, is everything alright with you? With us?” I ask.
    “I need to talk to you about some stuff,” he says, looking down at the floor. “Let’s go out to the garage.”
    My breath catches from hearing his tone. I swallow hard a few times, feeling the fear build all the way up in my throat. “Okay.”
    He turns and I follow him down the hall and into the garage. My whole body is shaking and I’m not sure if it’s from the temperature in the garage or if it’s from fear of what he’s about to say.
    My stomach squeezes when he turns to face me and I feel like I’m going to be sick. There’s something in his eyes that I don’t like. Please, please don’t tell me that you don’t want me, I think to myself. I don’t think my heart could handle hearing that right now.
    “There’s something I need to tell you,” he begins, taking a deep breathe. “About what happened the night of the accident with Adam.”
    Whoa, I wasn’t expecting to hear those words come out of his mouth.
    “Carter, I can’t talk about that. I don’t want to talk about that night.”
    With his head down, he takes my hands into his. “I have to talk about it. When I started to have feelings for you, I told myself that you would know the truth before we went any further. I’ve let things get too far without telling you, but I’m ready now.”
    Fear spreads throughout my body and my legs feel weak beneath me. My mind is racing. What could he possibly have to tell me? Adam died during a rescue... what else did I need to know? I squeeze my eyes tight and shake the thoughts out of my head. Why is he doing this?
    “Carter, I know what happened and I prefer not to relive it. Please don’t do this.”
    “No, you don’t know everything.” He pauses for a moment, his face strained. “Did you know that I was out there with him that night?”
    An image of him in the hospital with dirt smeared and his jacket ripped down the side enters my mind. I don’t answer him, but I feel my face contort and pain courses through every inch of my body.
    “Did you know that Adam was covering my shift for me that night? Earlier that day, I found out my dad died from a heart attack and Paul called in Adam to take my place.”
    My eyes close and I recall Adam telling me that they were one guy short, something about a last minute cancellation.
    “Stop.” I open my eyes and see the pain in his. “ Please , I don’t want to hear anymore. I don’t want to hear it,” I repeat those words over and over again, but he doesn’t listen; he doesn’t stop.
    “After I decided to go on the rescue with them, I was responsible for Adam that night. It was my decision to descend during the storm. We should’ve waited. I was supposed to watch out for him. It