Fall Guy

someone had known what he had been thinking that day.“
    „But no one did.“
    „No. He never said a word.“
    „He was alone all day?“
    „Yes, all day. Tim knocked once. I was two rooms away and heard my father's voice, it was that loud.“
    „Saying what?“
    She hesitated. Old habits die hard. „Telling him to go away.“
    „That's it? What exactly did he say?“
    „Get the hell away from the door.“
    „Was that all?“
    „No.“
    „What else did he say?“
    There was another silence on the line.
    „Maggie? It's important. Was there something else? Did he say something else?“
    „There was one other thing.“
    „Which was?“
    I heard her put the phone down on a counter or a table. Then I could hear her sobbing. There was a little table with a mirror over it, a chair in front of it. I pulled out the chair and sat, looking back at the door, half expecting Francis to open it, half thinking he might have figured out that seeing me here wasn't just a coincidence. But the door remained closed, no other ladies needing to use the facilities, no obsessed murderer coming in to do whatever was necessary in order to keep his secret, in order to survive.
    I heard a scrape as Maggie picked up the phone again.
    „He said, 'Haven't you done enough already?' „
    „Had he been angry at Tim the day before?“
    „No. In fact, they were working together in the front yard. My mother had gotten some shrubs and Tim was helping my father plant them.“ There was a pause again. Maggie blew her nose. „And then Francis came by.“
    I glanced at the door again, as if the mention of his name would make him appear. But the door remained closed. I was all alone.
    „And then what?“ I asked.
    „Well, they stopped planting. Tim came inside.“
    „And Francis helped your father with the shrubs?“
    „No. They went into the study. No one planted the rest of the shrubs. They'd planted one, an azalea. But it died. It was the wrong season. They’re supposed to go in the ground in the spring.“
    „So the shrubs sat on the lawn and Francis and your father went into your father's study, and what?“
    „Why, they shut the door.“
    „Wasn't that unusual, Maggie?“
    „No, I don't think so. Francis adored my parents. And he looked up to my father. In some ways, he was closer to them than to his own folks. He might have come for some advice.“
    Or to put down the secret he was carrying, to confess his lie, put the blame where it belonged, on his uncle's oldest son.
    I thought about asking Maggie for her aunt and uncle's phone number, but then I thought it was probably in Tim's address book. And what would be the point in calling them? I already knew their son had not given his life to God. Quite the opposite, as far as I could tell.
    „And after Francis left, then what?“
    „I don't know. It got very late and I'd gone to bed.“
    „And the next day?“
    „I never saw my father again after that. The next day was the day he was in his study alone, the day he shot himself.“
    „Was anyone home at the time? Did anyone hear the shot?“
    „No one was home. Tim and Dennis had things after school and they came home late. I was at a girlfriend's house. But my mother heard the shot. She was getting out of her car, just home from her rosary group. She ran inside but the study was locked. She called 911, the way we were all taught to do in case of an emergency, but she didn't wait. She went outside and smashed the study window with the shovel that had been left out on the lawn the evening before. But of course it was too late to do anything.“
    „How awful for her.“
    „I should have told her. I should have told my mother.“
    „What?“
    „That he was so angry at Tim.“
    „It can't have been the only time.“
    „No. But...“
    „He was angry often, wasn't he?“
    „Yes, but it was just because he loved us and wanted ...“ Maggie stopped.
    „Try to get some rest,“ I said. „I'll call you in the morning.“
    I sat in the ladies' room for a few more minutes, the phone still in my hand. What was his explanation for his poor burned hands, I wondered, that he'd been a cook perhaps and there'd been a grease fire? Is that where Parker got the notion to say he'd worked as a cook, from Francis? Or, if he'd been with the circus, he might have said there'd been a tent fire, fast and furious, a match dropped in straw, that he'd gotten burned saving the sword swallower or the big cats. He might have been a hero in the