Falling Awake

of her eccentricities, Isabel is no fool when it comes to reading people. If she thinks Cutler is okay, he probably is okay.”

    “We can’t depend on that. She’s attracted to him. That means she may be ignoring the warning signs. Besides, if Cutler is as smart as you think he is, he could very well be deceiving her.”
    “My advice is not to get too worked up about this, honey.” He came around the table and gave her a quick, absent kiss on the forehead. “Because from what I’ve seen of Ellis Cutler, there’s not a damn thing you can do to keep him away from Isabel.” He started toward the door. “See you at the office.”
    She crumpled the napkin in her lap. “You’re in a big rush this morning.”
    “Got a meeting with the publicity staff at seven forty-five.”
    “I see.”
    He paused, frowning. “Are you all right?”
    “Yes.”
    His mouth tightened. “You’re still upset about that conversation we had last week, aren’t you?”
    “Stop calling it a conversation,” she said tightly. “We aren’t in one of your motivational workshops here, Farrell. There’s no need to pretend that argument was an example of open communication. It was a quarrel, damnit. A bad one. And yes, I’m still upset about it.”
    Farrell flushed a dark red. The hand holding the briefcase became a white-knuckled fist. “I told you, I’m not ready yet to talk about children. Kyler, Inc., is in a very delicate growth phase. You’ve got to understand, Leila, I need to concentrate on the business.”
    “Farrell, please be honest. Is there something you’re not telling me? Something I should know?”

    He flushed and checked his watch again. “We’ll have to talk about this some other time. I’ve got to get to work.”
    Anger, frustration and fear came together in a devil’s brew of painful emotions that churned her insides. “You care more about the future of the business than you do about us. Why don’t you just say it?”
    “Because it’s not true, damnit.” Farrell’s jaw locked. He checked his watch. “Look, I told you, I can’t discuss this now. I’ve got a full day of meetings. Maybe we can do lunch at the café.”
    Lunch. Now he was giving her appointments, as if she were a client.
    “I’m not sure I’m going to go in to work today,” she said stiffly.
    Farrell looked first baffled and then anxious. “Are you sick?”
    “No. I just don’t seem to have a lot of interest in your business today.”
    “It’s not just my business. It’s our business.”
    “Is that so?”
    “You know it is.”
    “Well, I’m not so sure I want my half of your business anymore.”
    Farrell stood there, unmoving. A sense of uncertainty washed through her. She did not understand his expression. He should have looked outraged or uncomprehending. Instead, she could have sworn that what she saw in his eyes was pain and fear. But that didn’t make any sense. Why should he be hurt or afraid? His dreams had all come true. Hers were the ones that had been put on hold indefinitely.

    Farrell pulled himself together with a visible effort. “You’re upset. We’ll talk about this later.”
    “Why bother? You’ve already made your decision, haven’t you?”
    “I said, we’ll discuss it later.”
    He swung around and strode quickly out of the room, clutching the briefcase.
    She sat, trapped in a tangled skein of remorse and anger, until she heard the front door close behind him. What was happening to her? She loved Farrell. Until these past few weeks, she had believed that he loved her. The future had seemed so bright four years ago when they had married. But now it was all falling apart.
    Silence echoed in the big house. The space around her felt utterly empty. She thought about all the times in her childhood when her father had phoned from some distant city to tell her he wouldn’t be able to make it home in time for her recital. It’s okay, Dad, she had lied. I understand.
    It wasn’t supposed to be this way, not with Farrell. There should have been babies by now. But the children she’d planned to have existed only in her dreams. She saw them almost every night.
    Tears swam in her eyes. She put down the spoon and grabbed a handful of tissues.

23
    i sabel ran for the door, aware that Ellis was watching her from his position at the counter.
    She was in a mild frenzy because she had slept in late. There had barely been time to shower and dress. The downside was she had not had an opportunity to cook the