Fate's Edge

dull.
    It started exciting enough. Paul herded them into a huge room and made them sit next to Audrey and Kaldar. Jack sat on Audrey’s side and George on Kaldar’s side. Then a big choir came out and sang “hallelujah,” at first quiet, then louder and louder, until Ed Yonker appeared from the back and walked through the aisle, shaking hands and hugging people.
    “He thinks he’s a rock star,” Audrey murmured under her breath. Her mouth was still smiling. Jack couldn’t figure out how she could talk like that, with her mouth stretched out.
    Yonker kept hugging people until he got all the way to the stage. Then he picked up a microphone and started talking. And talking. And talking . . .
    “. . . God wants us to live a full life. Let’s think about it for a moment. What does living a full life really mean? It means being healthy, in spirit, in body, and in your work. God loves us. And that love, oh that love is all-encompassing. We are His special children. We are the chosen ones.” Yonker waved his arm. “God has chosen us above aaaall of his creations. Above the beasts of the forest, above the fish of the sea, above the birds in the air, above the angels in Heaven! God wants us to succeed! Are we a success if we’re not healthy?”
    Yonker held the microphone out to the audience.
    The crowd answered, “NO.”
    “No.” Yonker got terribly serious. “Are we a success if we’re not happy?”
    “NO.”
    “If we are God’s chosen, than how can we glorify His Name if we’re sad and wretched? How can we be a witness to His Power if we are weak and lacking? We can’t. We must stand strong. We must stand united. We are the Blessed. We must provide an example of His Love for us, for we are His Will upon this Earth. We must spread His Glory to the farthest corners, so those who don’t know Him look at us and seek Him out.”
    Jack pondered if he could get away with sneaking out to “use the washroom” and decided he couldn’t.
    “People come to me, and they say, ‘Ed, how can we help bring God’s will to those less fortunate?’ And I say, ‘Share. Share the blessings that God bestowed on you. Give of yourself to the Church, and the Church will glorify God in your name.’ I will tell you now, those who sit on their checkbooks and hoard their money in their bank accounts, those people do not witness for our God. You must give! Write that check today. Fill out that direct transfer form the children handed you at the entrance. Fill it out and sign your name if you want to go to Heaven, and send it to the business office.”
    Yonker kept talking. Jack yawned and closed his eyes. If only he could curl up in his chair . . .
    A finger jabbed him in the ribs. His eyes snapped open. Next to him, Audrey was listening to Ed. Her lips barely moved. “Stay awake.”
    Jack sighed and stared at Yonker walking around onstage. For a while, he imagined what would happen if he turned into a lynx. People would run around, and he would growl and scare them. Then he wondered what Yonker would look like with a mustache.
    Finally, people came through the aisles, passing some sort of platter around. Kaldar dropped a folded stack of bills held together with a small clip on it, and Jack gave it to some older lady standing in the aisle. The old lady made big eyes at the clip and took the platter away.
    Then there was more annoying preaching: blah-blah-blah, we are so good, blah-blah-blah, God wants us to have money, then Yonker went offstage to the back while the choir sang some more, and Paul came to get them. Audrey hugged Jack and told him to be a really good boy and that she would see him soon.
    Paul took them to the back of the church, all the way to the service entrance. A van waited for them. Paul opened the van door. Two other kids sat in the backseat, a dark-headed girl and a tall, lanky-looking kid with freckles and red hair.
    “Get in,” Paul said.
    George pondered the van.
    “We’re going to camp,” Paul said patiently. “That’s all we’re doing.”
    “Climb in already.” Jack pushed George a little.
    “Don’t shove me.”
    “Move so I don’t have to.”
    They climbed into the van and bickered for the next fifteen minutes, until Paul told them that he would turn the van around and that, so help him God, making Ed happy wasn’t worth this. They both decided that would be a good time to shut up and rode the rest of the way in silence. The van crept up a narrow road, angling away from the main