Fear Nothing

would appear to me when next I saw it. I felt that when my father left this world, all of the things that had belonged to him would look shabbier and diminished because they would no longer be touched by his spirit.
        It is a Craftsman-period structure, in the Greene and Greene tradition: ledger stone set with a minimum of mortar, cedar siding silvered by weather and time, entirely modern in its lines but not in the least artificial or insubstantial, fully of the earth and formidable. After the recent winter rains, the crisp lines of the slate roof were softened by a green coverlet of lichen.
        As we reversed into the street, I thought that I saw the shade nudged aside at one of the living-room windows, at the back of the deep porch, and Orson's face at the pane, his paws on the sill.
        As she drove away from the house, Sasha said, “How long since you've been out in this?”
        “Daylight? A little over nine years.”
        “A novena to the darkness.”
        She was also a songwriter.
        I said, “Damn it, Goodall, don’t wax poetic on me.”
        “What happened nine years ago?”
        “Appendicitis.”
        “Ah. That time when you almost died.”
        “Only death brings me out in daylight.”
        She said, “At least you got a sexy scar from it.”
        “You think so?”
        “I like to kiss it, don't I”
        “I've wondered about that.”
        “Actually, it scares me, that scar,” she said. “You might have died.”
        “Didn't.”
        “I kiss it like I'm saying a little prayer of thanks. That you're here with me.”
        “Or maybe you're sexually aroused by deformity.”
        “Asshole.”
        “Your mother never taught you language like that.”
        “It was the nuns in parochial school.”
        I said, “You know what I like?”
        “We've been together almost two years. Yeah, I think I know what you like.”
        “I like that you never cut me any slack.”
        “Why should I?” she asked.
        “Exactly.”
        Even in my armor of cloth and lotion, behind the shades that shielded my sensitive eyes from ultraviolet rays, I was unnerved by the day around and above me. I felt eggshell-fragile in its vise grip.
        Sasha was aware of my uneasiness but pretended not to notice. To take my mind off both the threat and the boundless beauty of the sunlit world, she did what she does so well-which is be Sasha.
        “Where will you be later” she asked. “When it's over.”
        “ If it's over. They could be wrong.”
        “Where will you be when I'm on the air?”
        “After midnight… probably Bobby's place.”
        “Make sure he turns on his radio.”
        “Are you taking requests tonight?” I asked.
        “You don't have to call in. I'll know what you need.”
        At the next corner, she swung the Explorer right, onto Ocean Avenue.
        She drove uphill, away from the sea.
        Fronting the shops and restaurants beyond the deep sidewalks, eighty-foot stone pines spread wings of branches across the street. The pavement was feathered with shadow and sunshine.
        Moonlight Bay, home to twelve thousand people, rises from the harbor and flatlands into gentle serried hills. In most California travel guides, our town is called the Jewel of the Central Coast, partly because the chamber of commerce schemes relentlessly to have this sobriquet widely used.
        The town has earned the name, however, for many reasons, not least of which is our wealth of trees. Majestic oaks with hundred-year crowns. Pines, cedars, phoenix palms. Deep eucalyptus groves. My favorites are the clusters of lacy melaleucas luminaria draped with stoles of ermine blossoms in the spring.
        As a result of our relationship, Sasha had applied protective film to the Explorer windows. Nevertheless, the view was shockingly brighter than that to which I was accustomed.
        I slid my glasses down my nose and peered over the frames.
        The pine needles stitched an elaborate dark embroidery on a wondrous purple-blue, late-afternoon sky bright with mystery, and a reflection of this pattern flickered across the windshield.
        I quickly pushed my glasses back in place, not merely to protect my eyes but because suddenly I was ashamed for taking such delight in this rare daytime journey even as my father lay dying.
        Judiciously speeding, never braking to a