Fear of Falling

to spark between my legs.
    Though I knew my apron was secure, Blaine’s hands never strayed. They coasted back to my front, stopping at my hipbones as he pulled me back into him. My head was leaning back onto his shoulder while his head dipped further into me, warm lips grazing my neck. My eyes fluttered closed reflexively as a low moan seeped out before I could stop it.
    “God, you smell good,” he breathed, running his soft lips from my earlobe down to my collarbone. “I bet you taste as good as you smell.”
    “Why don’t you taste and see?” a voice moaned. It sounded like mine, but there was no possible way it could have come from me. It was too confident, too self-assured. There wasn’t a trace a fear laced between those words.
    “Can I?” he teased. He knew damn well I was ready to let him sample every bit of my body in that moment.
    The gruff sounds of a clearing throat cut into our aroused senses like a knife. Blaine and I broke apart in time to catch the narrowing eyes of Mick. He glared disapproving daggers at his nephew before snorting and retreating to the back office. Mick was a man of very few words, but I could tell he didn’t like his bartenders canoodling on the job.
    “Shit!” I whispered, covering my beet-red face with my hands. Blaine had the nerve to chuckle, eliciting a smack on the arm from me. “Not funny, Blaine! We’re gonna get fired!”
    Blaine let out a pompous half-snort. “There’s no way that’s happening. Let me worry about Mick.”
    “Well, you’re his family. Of course, he won’t fire you. But I’m still new here. I don’t want him to think I’m just a walking, talking set of T&A. I want to earn my place here.”
    I swear I heard Blaine groan just at the mention of tits and ass. Such a man. Yeah, he seemed like a rare breed, but I had to remember that Blaine Jacobs was a male, and therefore, could not be trusted. Yeah, that’s what I should’ve been thinking, but my mind was still clouded with the remembrance of his lips caressing my neck. Blaine had completely dismantled me without even really kissing me.
    Seeing the flush rising on my cheeks, he stepped into me, close enough for me to damn near taste the air he occupied.
    “You’re right. I’ll try to tone it down here. But I need us to finish what we started. I need to see you outside of work. Tonight. Just us.”
    My breath expelled in short pants as I tried to regain my wits. It wasn’t just my nerves rising at the thought of being alone with Blaine. It was panic. Terror. No, no, no, this wasn’t happening. Not now, please God, not now.
    “Kami, are you alright?” he asked, all traces of seduction wiped clean from his face. “You don’t look so good. Here sit down.”
    Blaine grabbed a stool and eased me onto it, just as dizziness claimed my balance. I quickly leaned forward, steadying myself with his body and placed my head between my legs. Then I started the countdown in my head…from twenty. It had truly turned out to be a shitty day.
    After a while, the hot clamminess of my skin cooled into a sheen of sweat that blanketed by whole body. My heartbeat slowed from techno to an R&B groove. When I was sure that the dizziness and nausea had ceased, I raised my head and risked a peek at Blaine. Now he knew. There was no hiding my psychosis now. All the better; now I wouldn’t have to be the one to break a heart. I’d have the privilege of being on the receiving end this time.
    Blaine looked down at me with nothing but concern etched onto his handsome face. With the halogen lights beaming down directly behind his head, his light brown hair creating a halo of sorts, he reminded me of a sexy, dark angel. There was no disgust, no humiliation, radiating from him. There was only worry for me.
    He stroked my cheek adoringly, not even cringing at the tiny beads of sweat that had sprouted in the last 30 seconds. Then he smiled, emitting warmth and comfort in that simple gesture, telling me that it was ok. That I was safe and he was there to, once again, catch me.
    His eyes flickered up, and he held a finger up to someone, telling them he’d be with them in a moment. Then he squatted so he and I were eye level, and took my face in his hands.
    “You scared me,” he whispered. The pads of his thumbs drew circles on the apples of my cheeks. “How are you feeling?”
    I nodded, but I couldn’t find it in me to tell him I was okay, because I knew I never would be. I would always be a nervous fucking