Fear of Falling

to tell me how you know Kenneth?”
    “Care to tell me how you know him?”
    He lifted his head, a small frown resting between his brows. I could see the internal battle playing out in his expressive eyes. With a resigned sigh, he nodded. “Yes. Tonight. I’m taking you home with me.”
    “Excuse me?” The butterflies in my stomach broke out into a choreographed happy dance, flash mob style.
    “Don’t get excited. I’m not giving it up no matter how badly you want it,” he teased. “I just want to talk. And I want to show you something. Ok?”
    I was nodding before he even finished his sentence. “Ok. I want to talk to you too.”
    This was it. This was my chance to tell him how I felt. But what would I tell him? How did this type of thing go? I had only been on the receiving end of those awkward conversations, and my reactions were less than gracious. Oh shit, would Blaine laugh in my face? Could I blow this thing between us with my tendency to obsess over every freakin’ thing?
    “Breathe, baby,” he murmured in my ear, his warm breath blanketing my bitter thoughts. “Breathe, Kami. It’s ok.”
    I listened to his words, letting them pull me back to the surface. Bringing me back to him. That’s when I felt the fresh droplets of sweat on my forehead. My skin was clammy and hot, and my hands were trembling. I let out the breath I had been unknowingly holding, my lungs whining at the loss of oxygen. I had nearly sent myself into panic attack. Again. Shit.
    Blaine rubbed the back of his neck. “Look, you don’t have to do this if you–”
    “No, I want to,” I insisted, cutting him off. “I mean, I want to go to your place, Blaine. If you still want to talk.”
    He smiled, and it was pure and real. Not laced with hidden malice. Not infused with lust or desire. It was an honest-to-goodness happy smile. And his smile made me smile.
    “Have I ever told you how much I love it when you say my name?” he asked, grabbing my hips and pulling me closer.
    “Do you…Blaine?” I replied sweetly. I didn’t have the guts to tell him how much I loved it too. And how I craved to scream it.
    He let out what sounded like a hiss between his teeth. “Keep talking like that, and I might shut this place down early.”
    “Sure, bud. Mick will have your head for that,” I chuckled. Reflexively, I scanned the perimeter for him, not wanting to get caught flirting again.
    “Yeah, right,” Blaine snorted.
    He opened his mouth to say something else, but CJ came barreling up to the bar, completely trashed. He tried to flop onto a stool, missed it, and tried three more times before getting himself settled.
    “Holy fuuuuck, dude! I am so fuckin’ wasted!” he slurred, slumping over on the bar.
    I grabbed a glass and filled it to the brim with water, setting it in front of him. CJ could barely lift his head to drink it.
    “Dude, drink. You know your dad is gonna flip once he sees how sloppy drunk you are.”
    CJ made a face, but picked up the glass and chugged. He set it down empty and hiccupped. “B, get me some food so I can soak this shit up. Please?”
    Blaine let out an annoyed huff before turning for the kitchen. I went to swipe CJ’s empty glass when his hand reached out to grab my forearm.
    “Hey,” he rasped. “You like him, don’t you?”
    Reflexively, my eyes went to the direction of Blaine’s retreating back that was being swallowed by the crowd. I looked back at CJ and shrugged.
    “And he likes you.” It wasn’t a question.
    I pulled my arm away from his weak grasp and turned to refill his glass.
    “So what’s wrong with you?”
    I spun on my heel to face his sweaty, dazed face, my eyes narrowed in irritation. “Excuse me?”
    “You know,” CJ replied, leaning forward. “What’s wrong with you? What’s your sob story? Blaine likes that type.”
    I stepped towards him, a hand on my hip. “What type?”
    “The broken ones. The ones with issues. The chicks that need to be saved and look at him like a knight in shining fucking armor.” He closed his eyes, and his mouth curled up on one corner before he laid his head on the bar. “The fucked up, damaged girls. Just like his mom . He needs that. All part of his Captain Save-a-Hoe complex. He needs to rescue them.” Then he was out like a light.
    What the hell ?
    Before I could smack CJ across the back of the head to wake him so he could tell me more, Blaine appeared with a basket of food.
    “Wake up, asshole. I’m calling you a